Belt Auction
Gates Belts Knowledge Base
gates racing timing belts? i just recently took my car into the shop to replace the timing belt. i bought a gates racing timing belt for them to change out. they changed it out and i drove it home. a week later i noticed a leak in my oil line. drove it back to the shop to get that fix, drove it home. a week later i took off the timing belt cover. i noticed there were already threads coming from the side of the belt. and looks like it is rubbing against something that cause to have black marks on the blue outline of the belt. is it normal for that? or should i get it checked out. car was not even driven over 20 miles since the timing belt install.
What are all of the bikes currently available with the Gates Carbon Belt drivetrain? I know Spot was the original, Trek makes a commuter (maybe more than that), and at least one German company is employing it. Sure;y there are more.
Whats the best brand for serpentine belts. I've heard of Dayco and gates....? I need serpentine belt. I origonally got a dayco belt with a one year warrenty. But I called a mechanic and he said anything less then gates sucks. He was reluctant to do it with the belt I got so i returned it, and he said the belt he had was just about equivelent to the gates brand he mention. I have no idea what this guy is talking about But all I want to know is a good decent brand for the money. and as a side note how much a mechanic should charge for the belt replacement If I supply the belt
Dayco or Gates? I'm replacing a Gates belt that I put in only 3 years ago on my '94 F150? I'm replacing a Gates belt that I put in only 3 years ago on my '94 F150. It's getting VERY squeaky and has tiny cracks between the ribs. Do serpentine belts normally wear out that fast? I always hear people brag about Gates but am wondering. oh i put some Prestone Belt Dressing on today and the sound went completely away; until it dried......then sounded like 40 screaming babies when i drove it. Then i held a bar of soap to it and the got it to be quiet for 30 miles. I haven't seen any benefit from belt dressing. Maybe it has its place when the belt is newer. if it was a tensioner pulley, then why would it get quiet when i put soap on the belt? i guess the pulley could be out of alignment since it's coming from that location (power steering pump/tensioner area)
i have a 2001 accord 2.3L. Im deciding on gates or oem timing belt replacement. help? i can get the gates component kit for $80=complete with t-belt, tensioners. and water pump..i know oem is better, but after some research i have found the honda timing belts are made by gates..honda wants over $275 for the same parts...has anybody have concrete advise what i should do? i have used gates belts before, and was content...honest answers please..i know that you will say OEM only, but in this economic disaster im in, every penny is counted.
I have a sign from Gates Rubber Company, its used for selecting you own v-belt. Whats it worth? I have a yellow sign from the "Gates Rubber Company" that reads "Select Your Own V-Belt..." and has a tool on front to measure your V-Belt. The sign looks pretty old. I've checked Google but I was unable to find it, I didn't scrap it because I know its worth more than the price of scrap, I would like to know what its worth, If anyone can find out I would appreciate it. Thanks!
Where can I find a dual medical Gate belt? It goes around both patient and caregiver.? it is longer than a normal Gate belt that is used to walk patients. it fit's around both the patient and caregiver.
1988 Pontiac Le Mans timing marks for timing belt replacement.? I have a 1988 Pontiac Lemans timming belt broke. I am having trouble finding correct timming marks for cam and crank. I have the factory Manual but can not find anything about the location of the timing marks, I have a CD form Gates belts it said line up with back of timing belt cover for the cam and a pointer that is on the engine for the crank. Is this an interference Motor.
how to get handicap person up and down stairs safely? Need to get husband up and down stairs for doctor appointments. He cant walk, he cant crawl, he cant pull himself with his arms. It took three of us to pull him up the stairs, one step at a time with a gate belt around his waist.He had heart surgery and I feel this is unsafe. He said it was so hard on him that now, he doesn't want to go to the doctor. Need help right away!
Troubleshooting a chattering noise on the front of a 3.2 dodge engine. New belt and tensioner pulley? Noise stops when alternator belt is removed. Alternator bearings are like new. Possible bad power steering pump? Noise is most apparent at and just above idle when first starting out. Has new gates belt and 2 different new idler pulleys. Seems to be gradually getting worse. Turning the steering wheel affects it very little. 2001 3.2 Thanks
Is there any way to clean a glazed belt? Any time I leave my truck parked outside for a week or so the belt glazes and sqeals. Is there any way to clean the belt so it doesn't make noise? I really don't need another $60 gates backup belt.
which is better Dayco or Gates? Which drive belt is better Gates or Dayco? I'm looking for a serpentine belt for my 2004 Chevrolet impala.
Where can I find catalogue/spec. sheet for "Gates Powergrip GT2" sprocket (Not the belt, please) ? Need to rebuild my Death Star's cooling system. Damn engineers of mine are clueless.
Who makes generic Serp. belts? Who makes generic belts like masterpro, duralast and napa? I've heard that Gates makes Napa's belts but I was wondering if that pertained only to the ~$50 belt. What about the various ~$28-$40 belts?
Do we leave our "morality" at the gates when we enter to work in our daily lives.? This does not apply to minions who just attend conveyor belts but to you policy makers and parasitic trolls on our streets. You do not need further comment to know who and what they are.
does a bad idler in the car make noise? my car was making noise so i took it to the mechanic and he said my idler was bad and my alternator belt. does that make any big difference in performance such as quick take off?..just wondering. the car will be fixed tomarrow. the guy is installing a gates timing belt..alternator belt and idler for 180. not bad huh? let me know your input. thanks! p.s i have a 1995 dodge neon 5 speed sohc thats what it was doing. it was rattling pretty bad!
serpintine drive belt squealing? my old belt was squeling so i replaced it with a new gates belt and 2wks later doing it again? i did check all pulley for damage and possible alternator bearing play but didnt notice anything on pulleys so im lost?
problems with 1991 Jetta 8V, power steering misaligned? maybe someone knows why. I recently changed my water pump in my 1991 Jetta 8v. when I went to reinstall the belts, the water pump pulley and the power steering pulley hit each other with the old belt. I can only figure that either there was a shim, and its gone. Or the belt is the wrong size. I just bought this car it's my first VW. the water pump is the correct one the pulleys on crank water and a/c all line up right. its the outer belt only. Im not sure whats wrong with it, anyone? old belt was a Gates 7290.
my dog just ate this candy called sour rainbow belts!!!!!!!? OMG someone left the baby gate open and my dog got into my room and there were sour rainbow belts (the candy) in there and he ate like 5 i'm guessing is that bad for him?? please help me tell me what to do!!!!!!
Does anyone think SD has a legitimate chance of getting to the Superbowl this year? I think the Steelers will still be the best team in the AFC, and New England should be better this year, but I feel SD is a much improved team over last year. LT and Gates should be recovered from injury, Rivers has one more year under his belt, and the defense is improved with Merriman coming back, and the additions of Bennett and English, plus a full year of Ron Rivera as defensive coach. I think they have a good chance... what do you all think?
Can a person be a good, charitable human being, yet also an atheist/agnostic? This question is specifically for Christians who follow Psalms 14:1 1The fool hath said in his heart, There is no God. They are corrupt, they have done abominable works, there is none that doeth good. What about Bill Gates? He an agnostic atheist who operates the largest private charity in the world. Not to mention hes got the most popular software in the world under his belt. Hardly foolish.
How do you check in Alcohol in your luggage? like im 21, but im just curious. When you pack a bottle of wine into your checkin suitcase, do they ask you if you have alcohol in it? cuz most of the time i remember they just weight it then put it on the conveyer belt and its gone. Im sure they screen it but how would they know if you are 21 or not, cuz they screen it after you have left to your gate already. Im sorry if this question is confusing.
3 more weeks-->Gates of Heaven Open and Gates of Hell Close (Ramadan). How excited are you? http://us.geocities.com/mihraab786/Ramadan.html In the blessed month of Ramadan, Allah(S.W.T)/GOD, closes the Gates to Hell and Opens the Gates to Heaven. If anyone dies during the month of Ramadan, he/she goes straight to Heaven, no matter what sins they have committed. This is the Mercy of our True One LORD. Why be it, that only Islam is enforced with the blessing of Ramadan? In this Holy Month, Muslims are shown what it's like to be without food for hours. This gives consciousness, to those who don't have it, of how the homeless and foodless feel like throughout the day. A Muslim eagerly waits for Ramadan as for every good act, he is entitled to a reward equal to that of 70 good acts performed in other months. Also his provisions are increased during this month Angels ask Allah's forgiveness for the men who fast, till they break their fast. Ramadan is a month of blessing for a Muslim. The Holy Quran was sent down during this month which is a perfect guidance for mankind. The first part of this month is Allah's mercy, the middle part is forgiveness, and the last part is salvation and release from Hell Fire. Narrated Ayesha (RA) With the start of the last 10 days of Ramadan, the Prophet (pbuh) used to tighten his waist belt, pray all night and keep his family awake for the prayers. http://us.geocities.com/mihraab786/Ramadan.html "So people who die just THIS month go to heaven regardless of their sins, while a person who may have done a lesser sin but dies NEXT month goes to hell?" Um, clearly this is too much for you, that is why you could not understand it. In this month, no matter how much of a sinner, a person who dies goes to Heaven because Gates of Hell are closed. It's the Most Merciful month. Aside from this month, who goes to Heavan and who goes to Hell are done on the regular basis, where the LORD chooses who goes or not, despite the Good deeds vs. Sins Scale. But in this Holy Month, it's AN AUTOMATIC to Heaven if you die during this month, because Gates to Hell are closed. And to the one who said the Prophet ha no heart to keep his family awake, guess what? Because of him his family is resting in peace now. I have many nights stayed up late, and have loved it praying to the Lord all night. People stay up late in discos and clubs, for sins, but one can't say up late for the LORD? Silly "I'm worried about terrorist scum who believe the lie that they will go to heaven for doing their suicide attack in ramadan." Thing is idiot, suicide in Islam=EXPRESS TICKET to HELL. So how does Islam promote the suicide attacks? "I am not excited about Ramadan. It is a lie when you say everyone who dies in any certain month goes to heaven. Ramadan is a tool of Satan to help fool some people into following the pagan arab moon god allah instead of the true God of the Bible. The lie about dying in Ramadan is only motivation for suicide bombings and other forms of terrorism. The real God is a God of life. Your false god allah is a god of death." Hey idiot, suicide in Islam=EXPRESS ticket to Hell; so how can Ramadan promote suicide attacks? Anyone who kills is not a Muslim in the Lord's eyes, so therefore there is no such thing as a Muslim terrorist. Funny thing how you practice fasting in Ramadan; to feel how it feels for those who have no food; that's a sin? Allah="Al=The Elah=God" =THE GOD just like "Elahi=God".
Flying with an infant and going through security? My husband and I are flying down to visit my grandparents on Wednesday and we're taking our almost 5 month old daughter. I've all of a sudden started getting nervous about this trip. We're taking our travel system, so when we get to the security gate, do I just take her out and fold up the stroller, etc? That can't obviously fit through the little belt, so how do they check that? What tips for flying do you have? Anything to help put me at ease would be great!
2004 Dodge Neon timing belt and water pump change...i did the work myself to save a few bucks but now it ....? It hesitates at low rpm. A slight hesitation is noticed when idling, but not too bad, runs smooth when rpm's are increased. The car has a 5 speed and it also hesitates when i shift gears at low rpm.....like if i am driving slow. Shifting at higher rpm's like when accelerating on to the highway, no problems. I bought all the parts at O'Reilly's , Gates timing belt and Gates accessory belts and a brand new water pump. The replacement belts were the same size but quite a bit tighter, car has 85,000 miles on it. Is it possible i have the belt tensioner's adjusted too tight? I know the timing belt is right on the money because i checked and rechecked it several times. Will the belts eventually stretch a bit? What else could be causing this problem? Forget the "Haynes" manual.....whoever wrote that book was clueless......I wish cars were simpler like the old days, this job was pretty hard for a home mechanic like me. Thanks in advance. Motor is 2.0 base model.
Are security gaurds allowed to carry knives on duty? Like I was at sea world and the gaurd by the gate didn't have a pistol but he had a large hunting knife on his belt. are they supposed to do that?
Traveling Jet Blue- How should I check my car seat? I will be going on a short flight (45 minutes) with my almost 3 year old son by myself. There's no way I can carry his car seat with me to the gate and then on the plane. I am also sure he'll do fine with just a seat belt. However, Should I wrap the car seat in a plastic recycling bag when I get to the airport check in? Does Jet blue provide bags for car seats? Should I just leave it as is?
Can I wear these to the airport and get through security alright? -studded belt with belt buckle -steel toed boots Of course I would take them off prior to approaching the gate for x-ray, etc. but will their be any trouble?
Is it routine to walk police dogs around my car during a seat belt stop? I was on my way to a festival (during the day) and I was almost at the gates so I took off my seatbelt. I got pulled, and ticketed. I did feel like they used too much intemidation. This is a family oriented music festival. I was picking up my then 1 year old son from my mom, he had spent the night there. The officer walked a drug sniffing dog around my car asking if it had EVER had any illegal drugs in it. He asked me why I was nervous and I felt really intimidated, like I didn't have a right to go to this festival. I don't do drugs I love myself and my kids too much. It was a used car, should I get a drug sniffing dog next time I go car shopping.. I mean they actually made me scared that something was going to show up. Then they gave me a lecture about my car seat being with my mother (who had my son). I have always looked back at that and wondered if that's thier job. If so I'd be career searching.
How to protect your valuables while going through TSA check? I was going through a TSA check line at the airport outside of Seattle. The screener sent my two trays (1st tray containing my purse and carry-on bag, both with valuables inside and 2nd tray with our shoes and my 2 jackets, my husband's one jacket and my fishing vest piled on top) through. Then TSA screener called the party in front of us back and demanded she relinquish her cell phone as she needed to screen all electronics. Woman argued. Well, screener then tossed a plastic tray containing woman's cell phone between my two trays. Then then screener began questioning my husband. Meanwhile, another screener had called me over. He was at the gate about 4 ft. away. The screener who had detained my husband made him empty all the contents of his pockets into a little tray. They were conversing so I knew he wasn't watching our stuff that was already going through their X-ray machine. People who were in front of us were already retrieving stuff in their bins. The screener who was checking me out was speaking to me but frankly after glancing at him and saying hello, I didn't hear a word he said. All I could do was stare at my trays as they moved down the belt away from us. Screener finally stopped talking and released me and I went to our stuff. I gave the woman in front of me their cell phone which was between my two trays. Then the woman reached back and took my tray containing my black carry on and handbag. I told her that the stuff was mine. She said she thought it belonged to her friend. Anyway, I didn't lose anything this time -- either from my checked luggage (I didn't put any new shoes or new clothes in it). Do you have any tips about going through TSA check-points? I did wear slip on shoes as usual but have never experienced such a difficult procedure going through. I also understand how some people can have their stuff stolen in line now. I know we wore too much clothes as it was warm in Washington and Vancouver BC but returning to our neighborhood in San Francisco and stepping off the bus into what felt like a walk-in ice box, all jackets came in handy.
Why is it that a lot of health care facilities.....? will not acknowledge CNA's for CNA day or any other day when they are a very important part of the nursing team and do most of the nursing care in a nursing home. Nurses do not do the one on one hands on nursing care for the most part. CNA's are the eyes and ears for the nurses yet in society they get no credit. Only the nurses. The nurses are very important as well but, I just think that CNA's need to get special credit. I know that in most nursing homes it is hard to get decent CNAs but I can see why. There is no morale for them. They are payed bad and treated bad. They are abused and facilities will not even provide decent equipment such as gate belts etc.. to help may save their back. They don't really get good benefits if any and they are looked down apon by most of the other nursing staff. A lot of self respecting people who are good at the job will not do it. This is not true in the hospital however. The hospital is a lot better working environment. Please explain to me why aids are treated like modern day slaves.
What happend to The Gate Crashers (Curt Hawkins & Vance Archer)? Do you see them ever winning the tag titles when the belts are de-unified
How often are these bridges inspected and what do inspectors look for?? How often are the 1) Akashi-Kaikyo Bridge 2) Quebec Bridge 3) Golden Gate Bridge 4) Mackinac Bridge 5) Great Belt Bridge inspected? also what do inspectors look for? MAJOR POINTS FOR ANYONE WHO HELPS ME OUT!!!!!!!!! AND MAJOR POINTS FOR BEST ANSWER!!!!! AND PLEASE INCLUDE A WEBSITE IF YOU FOUND IT ONLINE. THANKS :)
Mechanical Belt Drive? At the present I am using Gates timing belt /cog belt 860 H type with 2 Inches wide, the transmission pulley ratio is 1 : 2,5 ( drive pulley is 40 tooth and driven pulley is 100 tooth ) My Q here is how wide the belt is required to drive load of +/- 60 Hp safely, Thank you very much for your kind attention.
Mechanical belt drive? At the present I am using Gates timing belt /cog belt 860 H type with 2 Inches wide, the transmission pulley ratio is 1 : 2,5 ( drive pulley is 40 tooth and driven pulley is 100 tooth ) My Q here is how wide the belt is required to drive load of +/- 60 Hp safely, Thank you very much for your kind attention.
Is it a bad idea to wear a DivaCup if I plan to be at the gates at a metal concert? It gets really violent up front, and I'm pretty skinny. I usually end up getting bruises on my abdomen area from my belt anyways, and I am worried because there will be a lot of pressure from the crowd behind me and I am afraid that the DivaCup will just pop out when I am being squished, and leak everywhere. Eww. I don't really want to wear a tampon, but I will if I have to. A pad is an absolute "no way". Not going up front is not an option. That is what I do at concerts. It makes it more fun. PS: An imaginary toonie to whoever catches the pun in the title.
Is it a bad idea to wear a menstrual cup if I plan to be at the gates at a metal concert? It gets really violent up front, and I'm pretty skinny. I usually end up getting bruises on my abdomen area from my belt anyways, and I am worried because there will be a lot of pressure from the crowd behind me and I am afraid that the DivaCup will just pop out when I am being squished, and leak everywhere. Eww. I don't really want to wear a tampon, but I will if I have to. A pad is an absolute "no way". Not going up front is not an option. That is what I do at concerts. It makes it more fun. PS: An imaginary toonie to whoever catches the pun in the title.
Was the pilot of my flight unprofessional ? I was flying from Philadelphia to Buffalo, NY with US Airways Express, operated by Republic Airways, and even though it was a short flight, the flight attendants and the pilot seemed very unprofessional. Before leaving the gate, one of the flight attendants walked in, she was obviously late, and chatting on her cell phone. Both flights attendants looked miserable and hostile, which is something you can come across on any airline, but when the flight attendant was making announcements, it was impossible to understand what he was saying because he wasn't speaking clearly. When the pilot came on, he warned us that we would be experiencing turbulence because "the air is pretty messed up up there so make sure you hold on". That’s exactly what he said, and he wasn’t trying to be funny, he didn’t seem to know what to say, mostly just random comments and it was hard to understand what he was saying. When we got into the air, the pilot came on again and said that the seatbelt sign would remain on for most of the flight, but that "you can take your seat belt off if you want but uhh that’s at your own risk, the air is just really messed up "… why would a pilot say such a thing? It was the worst flight service I’ve ever encountered. The turbulence was horrible, and obviously the pilot can’t do anything about that, but they didn’t seem professional and that didn’t make me feel safe. Is that type of service considered standard for short flights or was it unprofessional?
I am not to car savy. Can you explain this to me? My husband and I found a great deal for a car. We went to go see it and it sounds like a great deal.( And yes, I do totally trust the place were getting it from.) Although, they were tuning it up and still building it when we got there. They promised us itd be running and ready to go on Friday. Until then I was looking over the invoice they gave us of all the parts they bought. I don't know much about cars, do these parts make for a good car? Imma just type them here and please let me know what were getting into with this new car. Its a 05 Dodge neon SRT4 JE PISTONS 8.5.1 FIC 1050 CC TURBONECTICS T3/T04SS AEROMOTIVE FEUL FILTER GATES KEVLAR BELT SRT4 FELPRO COMPLETE ENGINE GASKET KIT WITH CAM SEALS EAGLE BILLET RODS 2.4 CLEVITE ROD AND MAIN BEARINGS ARP MAIN STUDS AEROMOTIVE FUEL PRESSURE REGUALTOR AEM EMS STAND ALONE SRT4 (CAR COMPUTER?) COMETIC METAL HEAD GASKET CRP FEUL RAIL SRT4 BLE LIFTERS HRPM WALBRO 255LPH INTAKE FUEL PUMP AND KIT QUAIFE DIF SRT4 INGALLS ENGINE AND TRAMSMISSION TORQUE DAMPNER SPARCO TORINO 2 ZEX NITROUS KIT SRT4 TURBONETICS GTK WITH T3 MANIFOLD BRIAN CROWLER 288 INTAKE AND 288 EXHAUST SRT CAMSHAFTS SI VALVES 1MM OVER BRIAN CROWLER TITANIUM SPRINGS AND RETAINERS SBI BRONZE VALVES GUIDES HIGH HP APPLICATIONS FIDANZA CAM SHAFT TIMING GEARS OKAY! Can anyone on yahoo dishipher all this? I just dont know what all this means. Ive ALREADY POSTED THIS QUESTION ONCE and I ONLY GOT RESPONSES on a question I DIDNT ASK. My question is this a fast car? A decent car? A good bulid? Are they good brands and parts? Not whether I should get it or not. I would really like a good awnser, thank you in advance.
Who would have won between Mike Tyson and Sonny Liston? Both fighters at the very top of their game, only one Heavyweight Belt $100 million gate. No Don King, No Bob Arum.
Question for coal miners ONLY. How smart are u? If i am in a coal mine and I am at the head gate on the belt am I INBY or OUTBY the last open cross cut.?
Any opinions on jiu jitsu in South Gate, CA? Looking for a partner to train with brazilian jiu jitsu in South gate ca. I am a blue belt .
Have you ever been so angry that you abused animal? A friend of mine had handcuffed his ex-girlfriend to a gate back in 2001 to scare her. He tied a dog to a gate and whipped it with a belt and then hit it across the head with a metal folded chair. I know he was mad, but he says he did it out of anger. Have you ever whipped dog, cat or any other animal because you were angry?
i have a 1999 Mitsubishi Eclipse GS 4 cylender and i want to know want or if i can do to make it faster? its a 1999 Mitsubishi Eclipse GS 4 cylender it has all of this pot into it Bolt On Lamborghini Hinges (included but not on car) Full Leather Interior Purple Split Tubing on Under Hood Wiring 18" lightweight racing wheels STAGGERED 8" in front 8.5" in rear some road rash (Gunmetal wheels with chrome lip are on the car now) 60% plus tread life left on tires Recent Head rebuild (MLS Head-gasket, Gates Racing Timing Belt, Valve job) 4-2-1 Header and custom down tube (titanium) Cat-Delete custom with flanges so cat can be re-added Custom Sub bow with port for 3 10" subwoofers Component MB Quart 6.5 in front and 6x9 in rear Ice cold A/C just recharged and Hot Heat Power Windows and Locks Dual HIDs 12k Purple low beams and 6k white high beams Projector Headlights with halo rings Altezza rear lights with centerpiece new 800cca battery new EGR New NGK spark plugs and wires Stage 1 Clutchmasters Racing clutch (yellow) 3mths old K&N Air Filter
Is my dog under stimulated? My 10 month old pup is very destructive to date we have had to install 4 baby gates to stop him getting into places. He has chewed so far new ear phones, specs, cds, Clark's shoes, coats, coat belts, bags, toys, the list is endless. I know what your thinking well he is bored maybe he is. He gets 2 x 30 mins walks a day, small amount of daily training, about 3 hours playing with adults and the kids. The question is do you think its a puppy thing and he will grow out of it?
What songs that when you hear you simply must sing along to because you know all the words...? I must sing along to a song if I know all of the words...I always sing along to The River by Good Charlotte with M.Shadows and Synyster Gates. Whenever M's part comes on I just belt it...its so funny..also I sing along to Critical Acclaim and all the A7X songs...and all the FOB songs...XD
Question for coal miners ONLY. How smart are u? If i am in a coal mine and I am at the head gate on the belt am i INBY or OUTBY the last open cross cut.?
Atheists: If you were on a plane that was about to crash into a mountain..? ... how effective would wearing your seat belt be? And would God mind if you arrived at the pearly gates slightly soiled?
to men: do you go through, over, or around the gate when answering nature's call? i personally go around, but most people say over.. i don't know how they do it that way.. undoing your belt and pants is too much of a hassle.. they made pant zippers for a reason am i right?
I need to do the following things to my Scooter but I have questions? Brand new Chinese Scooter. I read that if I do the following I'll get 6k miles on it. "Change out all of the fluids as soon as you receive your scoot (using mineral motor oil for break-in and synthetic gear oil). I even replaced the brake fluid. Replace the tire valve stems if they came with those right-angle Chinese pieces of crap. Put in an NGK plug and cap and a new fuel filter. Change the belt to a Gates and the rollers to Dr. Pulley sliders. Check the valve clearances. Go over every nut and bolt. Do all of that BEFORE your first ride." Does this sound right? No doubt it will void my warranty of 2 years. Is it worth it? Here is the link. http://chinesescoots.forumwise.com/chinesescoots-thread13636.html
Movie name ... I can't remember it, can you please help me ? I saw this old movie a few years ago, I don't even remember if it was really old so. It had this automatic gate, and this women with a chastity belt. And there was a men that was always trying to get it off (: Can you help me ?
Have you ever been naked in public? For how long? After a Football end of season trip to the Races our entire Footy team dropped their pants and walked half naked, with everything below the belt showing from the Race Track Gates to the Train Station......all without getting arrested, we were all later banned from the City Limits, untill after the 'Mad Monday' celebrations stopped, no joke the Police restricted us to a hotel just outside the City...hahaha....
(Gate Controls) for flight Simulator X? How do you get the luggage cart, cargo belt, and JUST the whole ground crew to start moving towards the players plane? I only see the ground crew unloading other planes? And, how do you get Jetways in the game without the game going very S L O W!!!
Only By Knowing Right From Wrong? Sister Margaret had been a model nun all her life, but then she was called to her reward. As she approached the pearly gates, Saint Peter said "Hold on, Sister Margaret...not so fast!" "But I have been good all my life and dedicated to the work of the Lord. From the time I was taken in as an infant by the sisters at the convent to my dying breath...I have lived for this moment!" Sister Margaret exclaimed in disbelief. "That is just the problem," replied St. Peter, "You never learned right from wrong and to get into heaven, you must know the difference between right and wrong." "Well what can I do? I will do anything to get into heaven!" Sister Margaret pleaded. "I am going to have to send you back down to Earth. When you get there, I want you to smoke a cigarette and call me when you are finished, we will discuss your situation then." ordered St. Peter. Sister Margaret returned to Earth, smoked a Camel, and then immediately called St. Peter, coughing and hacking. "Saint Peter" she gasped, "I can hardly breathe, my mouth tastes terrible, my breath stinks, I feel dizzy, and I think I am going to throw up" "Good!" replied the old saint, "Now you are finally getting a feel for right and wrong. Now go out tonight and drink some hard liquor and call me back when you are ready." Sister Margaret phoned St. Peter immediately after taking several belts of Jack Daniels. "Saint Peter, I feel woozy, that vile liquid burned my throat and nauseated me, it is all I can do to keep it down." "Good...good! Now you are starting to see the difference between right and wrong" said St. Peter with delight. "Tomorrow I want you to seek out a man and know him in the Biblical sense then call me" A week passed before Sister Margaret called St. Peter and left a message: "Hello, Pete, it's Peggy, it's gonna be a while!"
If given a chance who would u like 2 be ? For eg : i would like 2 be someone like like Bill gates with billions under my belt..........it can be a bussinessman , sportesperson,filmstar etc
Rate/Hate the bars..............? Really not sure where this came from, just wrote down some lines. Had a lot of concepts going through my head but put them into one so, if you don't get it I understand I'm too tired to explain. Peace. Rate, hate, etc... Put me in lockdown this sectors mad Angels with feathers laugh, getting jumped because of my checkered past This is first never last, amazingly I fell from grace Looking for a better half, I arrive at these hellish gates So this is hell's estate, Satan's right in front of me I can tell I'm late He says I’m a fallen angel, ripped my wings off age eleven Saved with sevens, I’m still all sixes, I call it fables Slipped my ring off page the revered Playing with fate the cards fall on tables Taking a break the stars aren’t so able Tonight was the night I died Gun by my side, and a bullet right inside My left temple, now it’s all so clear I killed myself simple, I was drawn in fear Of becoming this devil people paint me as Take me bad, but the evil raised me past The state of well being, hell singing Being I was never well, meaning I always took hells belts beatings
Why should I even try? One famous argument for converting to Christianity from atheism is that "If I have no beliefs now, why not play it safe and accept Jesus into my heart. If there is no heaven, you have nothing to lose. If there is, you are that much more likely to get in." Here's why this doesn't work for me: Some sects of christianity claim that only a small minority of souls make it into heaven. Only the creme de la creme de la faithful have a fighting chance past those pearly gates. Being the atheist that I am, I have obviously been living in sin my entire life. I'm 17. Compared to people my age who have been going to church every day and still wear their chastity belts, I have been living 17 years in constant debauchery. I have zero chance of making it into heaven. So, if I were to purge myself of worldy goods and commit myself to a monastery, those bible-thumpers would still have nearly 18 years on me. So playing it safe by lending my body to jesus would definitely not be enough. Call me reckless, but I think of I'll go with at least a couple more decades of hanky-panky, seeing as I'm fucked either way. Cheers! Kevin: Why does being a kind person require belief in a higher power and the promise of eternal paradise? Can't you be a good person without the fear of a big bad god looking over your shoulder? I think I'm mature enough to do so.
stuck on the simspsons psp game- lisa the tree hugger.? im on the level with lisa, (level 4?) and i have gtten past two of the gates, and im at a place where there is a huge conveyor belt, and lisa can pcik up 3 huge toxic waste tanks with her meditiation, i can move around the tanks, but i have no idea how to get onto the belt! ive tried putting the tanks in every postion possible! please help! its driving me mad!
Is 02 Focus with 2.0 SOHC an interference engine? I have found different sites that tend to have different opinions.Gates says no...Dayco says yes. Advance auto says it is on their website.Does anyone know for sure? I have an individual with a broken timing belt and I want to know what I might be getting into.
I feel that I've been profiled; what do I do to get justice? I feel that I have been profiled, and here's the story: I was walking into the county fair today, much like any normal person. As I approached the entrance and handed the handler my ticket, the security told me to tuck in my chain (I have a wallet chain). I obliged, and then was suddenly told to put my hankerchief that sits in my back pocket away, also. By this point, I was rather perturbed. Having done so, I proceeded and was again stopped, this time by an officer standing next to the gate. He then told me to put my chain away again. I pointed out that it was in my pocket, and he told me to unhook it from my belt and put it completely away. Exasperated, I proceeded to do so. Whilst doing this, the officer proceeded to, and in a demeaning tone, tell me that I could take it to my car or just leave; he was trying to be easy on me. I just sighed and put it away and carried on. As I was in the park, there were many other kids with chains and clothing much less conservative than mine. Because other kids were wearing clothing much less "conservative" than my clothes, I felt profiled just because of what I wore. I'm not a bad person at all; I have no criminal record and I attend college as a student. I know this is wrong and I know my rights as an American citizen; I am 18 years old and a taxpayer. What can I do to get justice? What is appropriate? I believe the First Amendment gives me the freedom of expression. I don't dress inappropriately: I wore a knit cap, collared argyle shirt, blue jeans, black shoes, white belt, my wallte with chain, and a black kerchief in my back pocket. As far as I know, there is no such "dress code" in society. I am livid about this atrocity, and would like some help, please. To what most people are saying, I am not a "gang-banger." I am a musician in a Christian rock band. I am normally very respectful of authority and am very humble. I feel this incident was a case of profiling because they assumed who I was; not who I am, and THAT is wrong.
Flight Simulator X Gate Controls and Flying? How do you get the ground service such as the cargo belt, luggage cart to start moving onto your plane? which planes work if you call the ground service?? And, how do create a free flight with the CO-captain telling you want to set the controsl too such as the heading and ALt etc. Thanks :)
chevy truck questions and mintanance questions? ok i got a 1994 Chevy silverado 5.7l v-8 4 barrel carb not towing anything no camper or any thing diving habits are constant i need to know in easy terms what is over drive compared to drive dose it save gas? what is my mpg? and i also have maintanace that needs to be done it is the following complete clean of the engine (inside) new belt,filters, fluid, hoses rust in the cooling system interior work (seats, headliner, remove mildew, dash, glove box door fell off,new replacement sidepannel for the door, carpet stain removal) new battery and terminals also electrical system check transmission totally cleaned completely (inside) body work (dent the size of a watermelon right by the gas cap on the bed, a little rust here and there, new grille little dents here and there, door clips fender when i open it dosent sling open till it hits the fender if thats what your thinking, the inside of the driver door isnt hooked up locks, handles etc.. rear gate handle dosent work and i need beddin brakes need to be bled and i have a new radio i need to put in and rhino lining
How DID We Survive? Looking back, it's hard to believe that we've lived this long... As children we would ride in cars with no seat belts or air bags. Riding in the back of a pickup truck on a warm day was always a special treat. Our baby cribs were painted with bright colored lead based paint. We often chewed on the crib, ingesting the paint. We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, locks on doors or cabinets, and when we rode our bikes we had no helmets. We drank water from the garden hose and not from a bottle. We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the streetlights came on. No one was able to reach us all day. We played dodge ball and sometimes the ball would really hurt! We played with toy guns, cowboys and Indians,army, cops robbers, and used our fingers to simulate guns when the toy ones or the BB gun was not available. We ate cupcakes, bread and butter, and drank sugar soda, but we were never overweight; we were always outside playing. Some students weren't as smart as others or didn't work hard so they failed a grade and were held back to repeat the same grade. That generation produced some of the greatest risk-takers and problem solvers. We had the freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned how to deal with it all. Almost all of us would have rather gone swimming in the lake instead of a pool, the term cell phone would have conjured up a phone in a jail cell, and a pager was the school PA system. We all took gym, not PE... and risked permanent injury with a pair of high top Ked's (only worn in gym) instead of having cross-training athletic shoes with air cushion soles and built in light reflectors. I can't recall any injuries but they must have happened because they tell us how much safer we are now. Every year, someone taught the whole school a lesson by running in the halls with leather soles on linoleum tile and hitting the wet spot. How much better off would we be today if we only knew we could have sued the school system. Speaking of school, we all said prayers and the pledge (amazing we aren't all brain dead from that), and staying in detention after school caught all sorts of negative attention for about the next two weeks. Schools didn't offer 14 year olds an abortion or condoms (we wouldn't have known what either was anyway) but they did give us a couple of baby aspirin and cough syrup if we started getting the sniffles. What an archaic health system we had then. Remember school nurses? Ours wore a hat and everything. I just can't recall how bored we were without Computers, PlayStation, Nintendo, or Cable TV. I must be repressing that memory as I try to rationalize through the denial of the dangers could have befallen us as we trekked off each day about a mile down the road to some guy's vacant 20, built forts out of branches and pieces of plywood, made trails, and fought over who got to be the Lone Ranger. What was that property owner thinking, letting us play on that lot? He should have been locked up for not putting up a fence around the property, complete with a self-closing gate and an infrared intruder alarm. Oh yeah... and where was the Benadryl and sterilization kit when I got that bee sting? I could have been killed! We played king of the hill on piles of gravel left on vacant construction sites and when we got hurt, mom pulled out the 48 cent bottle of mercurochrome and then we got butt-whooped. Now it's a trip to the emergency room, followed by a 10-day dose of a $49 bottle of antibiotics and then mom calls the attorney to sue the contractor for leaving a horribly vicious pile of gravel where it was such a threat. We didn't act up at the neighbor's house either because if we did, we got butt-whooped there too... and then we got butt-whooped again when we got home. Mom invited the door to door salesman inside for coffee. Our music had to be left inside when we went out to play and I am sure that I nearly exhausted my imagination a couple of times when we went on two week vacations. I should probably sue the folks now for the danger they put us in when we all slept in campgrounds in the family tent. Summers were spent behind the push lawnmower and I didn't even know lawn mowers came with motors until I was 13 and we got one without an automatic blade-stop or an auto-drive. How sick were my parents? Of course my parents weren't the only psychos. I recall a neighbor coming over and doing his tricks on the front stoop just before he fell off. Little did his mom know that she could have owned our house. Instead she picked him up and swatted him for being such a goof. It was a neighborhood run amuck. To top it off, not a single person I knew had ever been told that they were from a dysfunctional family. How could we possibly have known that we needed to get into group therapy and anger management classes? We were obviously so duped by so many societal ills, that we didn't even notice that the entire country wasn't taking Prozac! How did we ever survive????? Coincidentally, I got this in email just today...What are your thoughts? Yep! - we had advantages...all that was in that piece and others that were noted below..:-)
bert and mabel in nursing home? mabel buys bert a viagra tablet for his birthday.immediatly bert gets a big roger on.mabel says"eee bert iv'e never seen ya like that for years,i've been told it will only last an hour at you're age so lets make the most of it and go down the park and do it under the moonlight like we did 70 years ago when you courted me.they hobbled down to the park,roger firmly under berts belt.when they got there the bloody gates were locked.bert undoes his belt and says to mabel "stand on this mabel and i'll give ya a oggie over the gate.mabel lifts her foot up onto berts rampant roger and stops suddenly.bert says wots up mabel i'running outa time.mabel says"aye bert i've just thought.its o k getting over,but how the ???? am i gunna get back. dont think i'll have a happy easter jam---------------------I'M BERT!!!!!!
is the chargers still playoff bound? easy schedule, ladainian tomlinson,antonio gates,luis castillo,donnie edwards, quetin jammer and a qb who looks like a seasoned veteran with only six games under his belt (rivers) against losing 2 bad ass linebackers (foley ,phillips) and merriman to subsatnce abuse (unproven!) a folding place kicker and marty shottenhiemer as coach.what do you think?
what do you think about my presentation? please read my presentation and tell me your opinion about it iraq iraq ...... mesopotamia .......... the land between two rivers where the oldest civilizations on this planet rose , where words were written for the first time in history , where poetry , beauty and art were highly appreciated . despite the wars , masscares , invations, floods and tyrants this country always maneged to survive ...... and even in these hard times it will survive . iraq .... mesopotamia ..... will existe forever. the iraqi oil the cause of all the iraqi wars, took the second grade of the world auxiliary .... and the scientists say that if the situation in iraq got better , it would take the first grade. and there is a scientific fact say that the last two driblet of oil will be in iraq and there is that legend i believe which say that there is a lake of oil under iraq. and over 99% of iraq is underlain by sedimenttary rocks , these rocks contain abundant oil , gas and sulfur ,and modest amount of phosphate and other minerals. metallic menirals are assentially resticted to small area of highly deformed zagors thrust belt , which has minor deposite of lead , zinc , copper , chromite , asbestos , gold , silver and even the pure salt in diggings. iraq is the eastern gate of the arab homeland which protected it from its enemies and you all know the american greed which will never ever over , and with that country which is full of natural treasure , america couldn't leave it live in peace. america planned to occupy iraq since 1945 , but it couldn't find a good argument to say it to the world ....... but in 2003 america made the iraqi president as an argument to occuppy iraq , and unfortunatly most of the countries believed their argument. but the poor american soldiers were advantaged by the american government. they thought that the iraqis will welcome them with flowers , but the iraqis welcomed them with guns and bombs. the u.s army started with new way to reppression the resistance , as the thought . they started to kill the families of the resistants, but they couldn't stop it ..... and the will not *( inshalla)* and for the american forces in iraq , i like to say that your destiny is get killed in iraq and we will make iraq graveyard for you.
this is what happens when you have an all women flight crew? As the airliner pushed back from the gate, the flight attendant gave the passengers the usual information regarding seat belts, etc. Finally, she said, "Now sit back and enjoy your trip while your captain, Judith Campbell, and crew take you safely to your destination." Ed, sitting in the eighth row, thought to himself, "Did I hear her right? Is the captain a woman?" When the attendants came by with the drink cart, he asked, "Did I understand you right? Is the captain a woman?" "Yes," said the flight attendant, "and so is the co-captain. In fact, the entire crew is female." "My God!" said Ed. "I'd better have two scotch and sodas. I don't know what to think of all those women up there in the cockpit." "That's another thing, sir," said the flight attendant. "We no longer call it the cockpit ... Now, it's called the box office."
BBUK9: BEX.... nothing like a mother's love is there..????? http://www.digitalspy.co.uk/bigbrother9/a108618/bexs-mum-hits-out-at-bully-rex.html can't see the wood for the trees you lot..☺ obviously didn't see the part where she was in MO's face during Spittle-gate.... and then cut his belt... talk about bullying.. I agree Kirst... thats why he is friendless.... he is annoying, unless you're a sycophant like MO
Eating Problems (unable to eat)? Hello all, Lately I have been suffering panic attacks. I went to the docter and the docter believes that they happen because of a party I was at in march and gate crashers rolled up and belted everyone up and stole everyones wallets etc. Anyways, I had to stop drinking all the caffeen and energy drinks, alcohol or anything like that because the docter refers to them as stimulents and they will set them of, so I have taken them completely out of my diet The docter has also refered me to a phycoligist, and I have an appointment in a couple of days. Though I'm having issues being able to eat, I can't eat most of the time these past couple of weeks, I feel like I'm going to throw up, I try to talk myself out of it, but it doesn't work, like I ate just a tin of ravioli before and I had another panic attack with the added nausea, does anyone know a solution for this? Any help is much appreciated, DaF
Fashionistas: outfitt-making contest!!!! easy 10 points!!? ok so im interested in an outfit that has a wide belt and is fashionable. no mean comments please. and please no super high prices, im not bill gates' daughter. im 12 and i love all colors. plaese and thank you!
Why doen't the US make oil from coal, South Africa's been doing this for years. Don't we have alot of coal ? SECUNDA, South Africa -- Every day, conveyor belts haul about 120,000 metric tons of coal into an industrial complex here two hours east of Johannesburg. The facility -- resembling a nuclear power plant, with concrete silos looming over nearby potato farms -- superheats the coal to more than 2,000 degrees Fahrenheit. It adds steam and oxygen, cranks up the pressure, and pushes the coal through a series of chemical reactions. Then it spits out something extraordinary: 160,000 barrels of oil a day. For decades, scientists have known how to convert coal into a liquid that can be refined into gasoline or diesel fuel. But everyone thought the process was too expensive to be practical. The lone exception was South Africa, a one-time pariah state that had huge reserves of coal and, thanks to anti-apartheid sanctions, limited access to foreign oil. Sasol Ltd., a partly state-owned company, built several coal-to-liquids plants, including the ones at Secunda, and became the world's leading purveyor of coal-to-liquids technology. Now, oil prices are above $70 a barrel, and Sasol has emerged as the key player at the center of the world's latest alternative-energy boom. China is building a coal-to-oil plant costing several billion dollars in Inner Mongolia and may add as many as 27 facilities -- including some with Sasol's help -- over the next several years, according to a recent tally by Credit Suisse. In the U.S., the Defense Department is studying coal-to-oil technology as a way to reduce the American military's dependence on Middle Eastern crude oil. And the National Coal Council, an industry association, is pushing for government incentives to help generate some 2.6 million barrels of liquid fuel a day from coal by 2025. That would satisfy some 10 percent of America's expected oil demand that year. The plan would require 475 million tons of coal a year, which represents more than 40 percent of current annual U.S. production. Industry officials believe America's coal reserves are big enough to allow for the extra production. Coal-to-liquids "is not going to replace oil," says Lean Strauss, a Sasol executive who directs the company's overseas energy business. "But it's an important substitute. It is one of the solutions to energy security." In June, two senators from coal-producing states, Barack Obama of Illinois and Jim Bunning of Kentucky, introduced a bill to offer loan guarantees and tax incentives for U.S. coal-to-liquid plants. Sasol has found a particularly receptive audience in Montana's Democratic governor, Brian Schweitzer, who says he carries a lump of coal and a vial of liquefied coal with him at all times. He is lobbying coal companies and others to build coal-to-liquid plants across his state, which has some of the biggest coal reserves in the U.S. Current estimates indicate the world has just 41 years of known oil reserves and 65 years of natural-gas supplies. It has enough coal reserves to last an estimated 155 years, with some of the largest reserves in the two biggest oil-consuming countries, the U.S. and China. It's far from clear, however, that the world would be better off -- economically or environmentally -- by burning more coal to fuel cars and trucks. One problem is that coal-to-oil projects are extremely expensive. A single plant capable of producing about 80,000 barrels of oil equivalent a day -- less than 0.5 percent of America's daily oil diet -- would cost an estimated $6 billion or more to build. Energy analysts reckon that some coal-to-liquids projects can offer an acceptable return on investment when oil is priced as low as $30 or $35 a barrel, though such ventures might require government tax incentives to reduce operating costs. It seems likely that oil prices will stay above that level for a while, but the longer-term outlook is anyone's guess. An earlier flurry of interest in coal-to-oil facilities in the U.S. during the Carter administration in the late 1970s died after oil prices collapsed. Coal-to-oil projects also pose serious environmental questions. When the South African facility superheats coal and turns it into a gas, one of the main waste products is carbon dioxide, thought to be a significant cause of global warming. The Natural Resources Defense Council, a U.S.-based environmental advocacy group, estimates that the production and use of gasoline, diesel fuel, jet fuel and other fuels from crude oil release about 27.5 pounds of carbon dioxide per gallon. The production and use of a gallon of liquid fuel originating in coal emit about 49.5 pounds of carbon dioxide, they estimate. Even some boosters of the coal-to-oil plants describe them as carbon-dioxide factories that produce energy on the side. "Before deciding whether to invest scores -- perhaps hundreds -- of billions of dollars in a new industry like coal-to-liquids, we need a much more serious assessment of whether this is an industry that should proceed at all," said David Hawkins, director of the Climate Center at the Natural Resources Defense Council, at a recent U.S. Senate hearing. Coal-to-oil is one of several promising but potentially polluting technologies that are receiving new attention amid high oil prices. Energy companies are trying to unlock natural gas trapped in shale and other difficult rock formations. They're also tapping oil-soaked sands in Canada and so-called heavy oils in politically challenging places such as Venezuela. Environmentalists fear these new sources will outshine conservation as the way to address the world's growing thirst for energy. In South Africa, environmental groups say Sasol's facilities have emitted huge volumes of carbon dioxide and pollutants, including sulfur dioxide. They say these have caused a host of respiratory problems in nearby communities. Sasol says its emissions of these pollutants are small compared to emissions by other companies' coal-burning electricity plants in the region. Sasol officials acknowledge their facilities emit greenhouse gases and that building more coal-to-liquids facilities around the world "could have potentially significant implications, in the long run, for our commitment to reducing carbon intensity," according to a recent company report on its social and environmental programs. Sasol says it plans to reduce its greenhouse-gas emissions per ton of product by 10 percent by 2015. Sasol and many other coal-to-oil proponents say that future coal-to-liquids plants can be built with newer technologies that trap carbon dioxide and store it, sharply reducing their emissions. To many South Africans, Sasol is a huge success story. The company's daily production now meets about 30 percent of South Africa's transport-fuel needs. The country's 50-rand bank note even features a picture of one of Sasol's plants. Sasol's share price has more than tripled over the past three years. Analysts estimate it earned about $2 billion in the year ended June 30, about 35 percent higher than the year before -- such a sharp rise that South African authorities are contemplating a "windfall tax" on the company. Coal-to-oil technology dates back to the 1920s, when two German chemists, Franz Fischer and Hans Tropsch, developed a process to convert coal into a gas and then use it to make synthetic fuels. Coal-to-oil technology helped fuel the Nazi war machine, which lacked access to sufficient crude oil. International oil companies also experimented with the process but put it aside because oil was cheaper. South Africa took a different view. The country lacked oil, but had enormous deposits of coal, much of which had limited market value because of its poor quality. In 1950, the government set up Sasol as a state-owned company and authorized funding for its first project, a coal-to-liquids facility called Sasolburg in the South African countryside. When oil prices soared in the 1970s, South African officials decided to up the ante. They lent Sasol $6 billion to build two new facilities at Secunda -- each 10 times as large as Sasolburg. The government also privatized the company, listing it on the Johannesburg Stock Exchange in 1979. (The government maintains a 23.5 percent stake). By the time the facilities were completed in the early 1980s, international oil prices were collapsing. The project was nonetheless a success for the white-dominated apartheid government because international sanctions were restricting South Africa's ability to buy foreign oil. The plants managed to stay profitable by continually boosting efficiency and expanding their end products to include plastics, fertilizers and explosives. Besides the government loans, Sasol at various times received cash payments from the government when oil prices fell below a certain level. It eventually paid back the loans and stopped receiving subsidies for its coal-to-oil business by 2000. Today, Secunda is a buzzing industrial hub with 16,000 employees, miles of interlocking pipes and cables, and eight colossal silos. The silos, each big enough to contain a football field, cool steam involved in the conversion process. Fuel trucks wait along the edge of the facility to fill up with gasoline. Nearby mines produce more than 40 million metric tons of coal a year -- as much as all of Illinois. Outside the plant gates, Secunda has a boomtown feel. It has some 35,000 people, a BMW dealership and a multistory casino hotel called Graceland designed to evoke the "grand old age of Colonial America." A growing focus for Sasol is marketing its technology overseas. The company first tried to do so in the 1990s, after apartheid ended, but executives found doors slammed in their faces. Oil was trading for less than $25 a barrel at the time. "We sat in corridors waiting for meetings that never happened because they didn't even know who Sasol was," recalls Pat Davies, Sasol's chief executive. Sasol made its first inroads in countries such as Qatar that have big stockpiles of hard-to-transport natural gas. These countries were interested in Sasol's technology for turning natural gas into liquid fuel. As oil prices began to perk up, Sasol drew interest on the coal front from China, with its big coal reserves and energy needs. In marketing materials produced for Chinese government officials and investors, Sasol offers a simple message: By 2015, 70 percent of China's oil imports will come from the Middle East. Yet the country has coal reserves equivalent to more than half the oil in the Middle East. By 2004, Chinese energy planners began meeting with Sasol executives in Beijing to discuss the coal-to-oil process. That was followed by a series of meetings with policy makers and Chinese companies, capped by a gathering in Cape Town in June attended by visiting Chinese Premier Wen Jiabao. Coal-generated pollution is emerging as a major environmental crisis in China. Yet Chinese officials are apparently willing to accept more coal use if it means improving the country's energy security, especially if local companies can design facilities to use relatively clean-burning varieties of coal. Shenhua Group, China's largest coal producer, has started work on China's first commercial coal-to-oil facility, designed eventually to produce as many as 200,000 barrels of oil equivalent a day. Although that plant uses a different process from Sasol's at Secunda, Shenhua officials are in negotiations with Sasol to jointly build at least one additional 80,000-barrel-a-day plant using the South African company's technique. While Sasol would charge a fee for licensing its technology, its main interest is to share ownership in the facilities once they're built because it wants a share of the long-term profits. In China, Sasol is asking for a 50 percent equity stake in the projects. A Shenhua official says negotiations are going smoothly and the company hopes to begin construction soon. In Montana, at least two companies, including the world's largest private-sector coal company, Peabody Energy Corp. of St. Louis, have said they are looking at potential coal-to-oil sites. Montana's Gov. Schweitzer says any excess carbon dioxide from a facility could be given to oil companies to be injected back into the ground to enhance recovery from old wells. Bringing Sasol on board is critical, says Gov. Schweitzer. He says Wall Street banks want the South Africans to play a role because Sasol is the only company with a track record in the business. To woo Sasol executives, he says, he took them on a flight over Montana coal country last year. "These are the guys everyone wants to take to the prom," Gov. Schweitzer says. Sasol officials say they're interested in Montana and other potential sites in the U.S., provided they can find a suitable partner and receive tax or other incentives. Coal-to-oil "is coming to the United States," Gov. Schweitzer proclaims. When it does, he says, other countries "will be scrambling to protect their oil supplies -- and we'll be energy independent." First published on August 17, 2006 at 12:00 am Shai Oster in Beijing contributed to this article.
Why doen't the US begin using coal to produce oil? South Africa has been doing do for years!? SECUNDA, South Africa -- Every day, conveyor belts haul about 120,000 metric tons of coal into an industrial complex here two hours east of Johannesburg. The facility -- resembling a nuclear power plant, with concrete silos looming over nearby potato farms -- superheats the coal to more than 2,000 degrees Fahrenheit. It adds steam and oxygen, cranks up the pressure, and pushes the coal through a series of chemical reactions. Then it spits out something extraordinary: 160,000 barrels of oil a day. For decades, scientists have known how to convert coal into a liquid that can be refined into gasoline or diesel fuel. But everyone thought the process was too expensive to be practical. The lone exception was South Africa, a one-time pariah state that had huge reserves of coal and, thanks to anti-apartheid sanctions, limited access to foreign oil. Sasol Ltd., a partly state-owned company, built several coal-to-liquids plants, including the ones at Secunda, and became the world's leading purveyor of coal-to-liquids technology. Now, oil prices are above $70 a barrel, and Sasol has emerged as the key player at the center of the world's latest alternative-energy boom. China is building a coal-to-oil plant costing several billion dollars in Inner Mongolia and may add as many as 27 facilities -- including some with Sasol's help -- over the next several years, according to a recent tally by Credit Suisse. In the U.S., the Defense Department is studying coal-to-oil technology as a way to reduce the American military's dependence on Middle Eastern crude oil. And the National Coal Council, an industry association, is pushing for government incentives to help generate some 2.6 million barrels of liquid fuel a day from coal by 2025. That would satisfy some 10 percent of America's expected oil demand that year. The plan would require 475 million tons of coal a year, which represents more than 40 percent of current annual U.S. production. Industry officials believe America's coal reserves are big enough to allow for the extra production. Coal-to-liquids "is not going to replace oil," says Lean Strauss, a Sasol executive who directs the company's overseas energy business. "But it's an important substitute. It is one of the solutions to energy security." In June, two senators from coal-producing states, Barack Obama of Illinois and Jim Bunning of Kentucky, introduced a bill to offer loan guarantees and tax incentives for U.S. coal-to-liquid plants. Sasol has found a particularly receptive audience in Montana's Democratic governor, Brian Schweitzer, who says he carries a lump of coal and a vial of liquefied coal with him at all times. He is lobbying coal companies and others to build coal-to-liquid plants across his state, which has some of the biggest coal reserves in the U.S. Current estimates indicate the world has just 41 years of known oil reserves and 65 years of natural-gas supplies. It has enough coal reserves to last an estimated 155 years, with some of the largest reserves in the two biggest oil-consuming countries, the U.S. and China. It's far from clear, however, that the world would be better off -- economically or environmentally -- by burning more coal to fuel cars and trucks. One problem is that coal-to-oil projects are extremely expensive. A single plant capable of producing about 80,000 barrels of oil equivalent a day -- less than 0.5 percent of America's daily oil diet -- would cost an estimated $6 billion or more to build. Energy analysts reckon that some coal-to-liquids projects can offer an acceptable return on investment when oil is priced as low as $30 or $35 a barrel, though such ventures might require government tax incentives to reduce operating costs. It seems likely that oil prices will stay above that level for a while, but the longer-term outlook is anyone's guess. An earlier flurry of interest in coal-to-oil facilities in the U.S. during the Carter administration in the late 1970s died after oil prices collapsed. Coal-to-oil projects also pose serious environmental questions. When the South African facility superheats coal and turns it into a gas, one of the main waste products is carbon dioxide, thought to be a significant cause of global warming. The Natural Resources Defense Council, a U.S.-based environmental advocacy group, estimates that the production and use of gasoline, diesel fuel, jet fuel and other fuels from crude oil release about 27.5 pounds of carbon dioxide per gallon. The production and use of a gallon of liquid fuel originating in coal emit about 49.5 pounds of carbon dioxide, they estimate. Even some boosters of the coal-to-oil plants describe them as carbon-dioxide factories that produce energy on the side. "Before deciding whether to invest scores -- perhaps hundreds -- of billions of dollars in a new industry like coal-to-liquids, we need a much more serious assessment of whether this is an industry that should proceed at all," said David Hawkins, director of the Climate Center at the Natural Resources Defense Council, at a recent U.S. Senate hearing. Coal-to-oil is one of several promising but potentially polluting technologies that are receiving new attention amid high oil prices. Energy companies are trying to unlock natural gas trapped in shale and other difficult rock formations. They're also tapping oil-soaked sands in Canada and so-called heavy oils in politically challenging places such as Venezuela. Environmentalists fear these new sources will outshine conservation as the way to address the world's growing thirst for energy. In South Africa, environmental groups say Sasol's facilities have emitted huge volumes of carbon dioxide and pollutants, including sulfur dioxide. They say these have caused a host of respiratory problems in nearby communities. Sasol says its emissions of these pollutants are small compared to emissions by other companies' coal-burning electricity plants in the region. Sasol officials acknowledge their facilities emit greenhouse gases and that building more coal-to-liquids facilities around the world "could have potentially significant implications, in the long run, for our commitment to reducing carbon intensity," according to a recent company report on its social and environmental programs. Sasol says it plans to reduce its greenhouse-gas emissions per ton of product by 10 percent by 2015. Sasol and many other coal-to-oil proponents say that future coal-to-liquids plants can be built with newer technologies that trap carbon dioxide and store it, sharply reducing their emissions. To many South Africans, Sasol is a huge success story. The company's daily production now meets about 30 percent of South Africa's transport-fuel needs. The country's 50-rand bank note even features a picture of one of Sasol's plants. Sasol's share price has more than tripled over the past three years. Analysts estimate it earned about $2 billion in the year ended June 30, about 35 percent higher than the year before -- such a sharp rise that South African authorities are contemplating a "windfall tax" on the company. Coal-to-oil technology dates back to the 1920s, when two German chemists, Franz Fischer and Hans Tropsch, developed a process to convert coal into a gas and then use it to make synthetic fuels. Coal-to-oil technology helped fuel the Nazi war machine, which lacked access to sufficient crude oil. International oil companies also experimented with the process but put it aside because oil was cheaper. South Africa took a different view. The country lacked oil, but had enormous deposits of coal, much of which had limited market value because of its poor quality. In 1950, the government set up Sasol as a state-owned company and authorized funding for its first project, a coal-to-liquids facility called Sasolburg in the South African countryside. When oil prices soared in the 1970s, South African officials decided to up the ante. They lent Sasol $6 billion to build two new facilities at Secunda -- each 10 times as large as Sasolburg. The government also privatized the company, listing it on the Johannesburg Stock Exchange in 1979. (The government maintains a 23.5 percent stake). By the time the facilities were completed in the early 1980s, international oil prices were collapsing. The project was nonetheless a success for the white-dominated apartheid government because international sanctions were restricting South Africa's ability to buy foreign oil. The plants managed to stay profitable by continually boosting efficiency and expanding their end products to include plastics, fertilizers and explosives. Besides the government loans, Sasol at various times received cash payments from the government when oil prices fell below a certain level. It eventually paid back the loans and stopped receiving subsidies for its coal-to-oil business by 2000. Today, Secunda is a buzzing industrial hub with 16,000 employees, miles of interlocking pipes and cables, and eight colossal silos. The silos, each big enough to contain a football field, cool steam involved in the conversion process. Fuel trucks wait along the edge of the facility to fill up with gasoline. Nearby mines produce more than 40 million metric tons of coal a year -- as much as all of Illinois. Outside the plant gates, Secunda has a boomtown feel. It has some 35,000 people, a BMW dealership and a multistory casino hotel called Graceland designed to evoke the "grand old age of Colonial America." A growing focus for Sasol is marketing its technology overseas. The company first tried to do so in the 1990s, after apartheid ended, but executives found doors slammed in their faces. Oil was trading for less than $25 a barrel at the time. "We sat in corridors waiting for meetings that never happened because they didn't even know who Sasol was," recalls Pat Davies, Sasol's chief executive. Sasol made its first inroads in countries such as Qatar that have big stockpiles of hard-to-transport natural gas. These countries were interested in Sasol's technology for turning natural gas into liquid fuel. As oil prices began to perk up, Sasol drew interest on the coal front from China, with its big coal reserves and energy needs. In marketing materials produced for Chinese government officials and investors, Sasol offers a simple message: By 2015, 70 percent of China's oil imports will come from the Middle East. Yet the country has coal reserves equivalent to more than half the oil in the Middle East. By 2004, Chinese energy planners began meeting with Sasol executives in Beijing to discuss the coal-to-oil process. That was followed by a series of meetings with policy makers and Chinese companies, capped by a gathering in Cape Town in June attended by visiting Chinese Premier Wen Jiabao. Coal-generated pollution is emerging as a major environmental crisis in China. Yet Chinese officials are apparently willing to accept more coal use if it means improving the country's energy security, especially if local companies can design facilities to use relatively clean-burning varieties of coal. Shenhua Group, China's largest coal producer, has started work on China's first commercial coal-to-oil facility, designed eventually to produce as many as 200,000 barrels of oil equivalent a day. Although that plant uses a different process from Sasol's at Secunda, Shenhua officials are in negotiations with Sasol to jointly build at least one additional 80,000-barrel-a-day plant using the South African company's technique. While Sasol would charge a fee for licensing its technology, its main interest is to share ownership in the facilities once they're built because it wants a share of the long-term profits. In China, Sasol is asking for a 50 percent equity stake in the projects. A Shenhua official says negotiations are going smoothly and the company hopes to begin construction soon. In Montana, at least two companies, including the world's largest private-sector coal company, Peabody Energy Corp. of St. Louis, have said they are looking at potential coal-to-oil sites. Montana's Gov. Schweitzer says any excess carbon dioxide from a facility could be given to oil companies to be injected back into the ground to enhance recovery from old wells. Bringing Sasol on board is critical, says Gov. Schweitzer. He says Wall Street banks want the South Africans to play a role because Sasol is the only company with a track record in the business. To woo Sasol executives, he says, he took them on a flight over Montana coal country last year. "These are the guys everyone wants to take to the prom," Gov. Schweitzer says. Sasol officials say they're interested in Montana and other potential sites in the U.S., provided they can find a suitable partner and receive tax or other incentives. Coal-to-oil "is coming to the United States," Gov. Schweitzer proclaims. When it does, he says, other countries "will be scrambling to protect their oil supplies -- and we'll be energy independent." First published on August 17, 2006 at 12:00 am Shai Oster in Beijing contributed to this article. Sorry for long article. Simple fact is that the US has th largest reserve of coal in the world. Coal to Oil technology is a proven fact, used be Germany in WWII and more recently by South Africa during there period of Aparthide. This country needs long term options and this seems like a viable option. -5dollar galon gas may make people demand for solutions at a louder scream
What are the secrets Inside Israel's prisons ?!? http://www.haaretz.com/hasen/pages/shart... Detainees are blindfolded and kept in blackened cells, never told where they are, brutally interrogated and allowed no visitors of any kind. Dubbed 'the Israeli Guantanamo,' it's no wonder facility 1391 officially does not exist. M, who serves in the Intelligence Corps reserves, remembers the first time he was sent to do guard duty at Camp 1391. Before climbing to the top of the observation tower he received an explicit order from the responsible officer: "When you're on the tower you look straight ahead only, outside the base, and to the sides. What happens behind you is none of your business. Do not turn around." M., of course, couldn't resist the temptation and occasionally snuck a look behind him. From atop the tower he saw the double fence surrounding the camp, enclosing a compound ruled by trained attack dogs; the jeep that patrols inside the two fences; the vehicles utilized by the members of the unit who man the base; and especially the large concrete structure, dating from the British Mandate period, when it was used by the British police, and which now bears a description that carries an aura of mystery: Israel's secret detention facility. Some of the people who were interviewed for this article dubbed the camp "the Israeli Guantanamo." There are in fact certain points of resemblance between the American detention camp in Cuba and the Israeli site, mainly in relation to the legal questions that hover over them and the gnawing doubt about whether they are consistent with the values of democracy. In terms of the exotic, though, we lag far behind. Whereas the watchtowers of the Guantanamo facility look out over the aquamarine waters of the Caribbean Sea, the secret prison in Israel is situated by the side of a completely ordinary road in the heart of a bustling region in the center of the country. A narrow, tree-lined road ascends to the camp, and inside it looks like any other army base: barracks, mess hall, workshop to repair vehicles. Even the guards are not the best the Israel Defense Forces (IDF) have available. The guard towers and the patrols are manned, for the most part, by graduates of the IDF's general basic training program, who "never carried out an assault against anything," as one of them put it. "As always with us, there's a lot of hoo-ha, but behind it is the usual army chaos," an officer who served at the base says ironically. What really surrounds Camp 1391, more than physical protection, is an entrenched wall of silence. Since the 1980s, when the facility was moved from a more southerly location to its present site, the Israeli authorities have made every effort to keep its very existence secret. And even now that its existence has been revealed, the state refuses to answer the many questions of the world and of the Israeli public: Where is the facility? Who is being held there, why, and for how long? Were they tried before being locked up in Camp 1391, or are they awaiting trial? What are their conditions of incarceration? In every other lockup in Israel the answers to these and many other questions are open and amenable to external, legal, public and international review. As far as is known, the 1391 site is the only detention facility whose detainees don't know where they are. If they ask, the warders may answer, "on the moon," or "in outer space," or "outside the borders of Israel." It is also the only detention facility that the state prevents the International Red Cross from visiting. Nor, as far as can be ascertained, have Knesset members ever visited the place, and many of the politicians who have been asked about it in the past few weeks said they had never heard of it - including some who have held senior positions in the government, such as Prof. David Libai, who was justice minister in the government of Yitzhak Rabin and a member of the ministerial committee that deals with the secret services: "I will not say a single word about the subject, for the simple reason that I am not familiar with it. This is the first time I have ever heard about such a thing." If a former justice minister doesn't know about it, a disturbing question arises: who does? Dan Meridor, another former justice minister and chairman of the Knesset Foreign Affairs and Defense Committee, is aware of the facility's existence: "I'm not sure there's anything wrong here," he says. "I remember that as a minister and as one who dealt with intelligence matters, I visited every place I wanted to and everything was always open to me. I know about the existence of this facility, but I was never there - apparently because I never asked to visit it. I don't want to bandy words about, because I am not familiar with the subject in depth. There are many complex questions of human rights involved here." Do you think it's right that in the State of Israel there is a facility in which people don't know where they are, nor do their families or lawyers? "No. If there are people who are incarcerated incommunicado, that doesn't seem right to me." According to attorney Dan Yakir, the legal adviser of the Association of Civil Rights in Israel (ACRI), "A secret detention facility contradicts basic principles of every democracy - transparency and public supervision over the governmental authorities. And those principles are especially important in relation to the deprivation of freedom - which is one of the most severe infringements of human rights. The existence of a lockup like this gives rise to a double concern: first, of secret arrests and `disappearances' of people; and second, an abuse of power, unfair treatment, violence and torture." As will be seen, attorney Yakir's concerns are well founded. Stepson of army intelligence Camp 1391 is an Israel Defense Forces facility. Agents of the Shin Bet security service and other security branches visit the site and since the start of the intifada have apparently made greater use of it than in the past, but the facility belongs to the IDF. One of the reasons for the wall of secrecy that surrounds it is the fact that it is located in the center of a military base that belongs to one of the secret units of the Intelligence Corps - Unit 504 (according to foreign sources the unit's name has recently been changed). Unit 504 gathers intelligence by means of the human factor - "humint." Most of its work is done by using agents outside Israel. The officers in the unit, which is not large, are known as katamim (acronym for "officers for special tasks") and undergo two-track training. Some of them handle agents and the others - former members of the unit say they are those whose skills the system isn't wild about - are directed to the hakshabim track (interrogators of prisoners). The unit commander is an officer with the rank of colonel. The attitude toward the unit is characterized by duality: on the one hand, this is a small, seemingly elitist unit, which carries out sensitive missions; on the other hand, as one of the unit's members says, "We are the stepson of army intelligence. Sometimes you look at some of the officers and you ask yourself whether these are the standards the IDF assigns to these posts." The same individual adds, "There is also a problem about the impact of long-term service on their mental state. To be an interrogator you have to start out with some kind of scratch on the brain. But the handlers, too - after a time they also start to be handlers in their private life. You see it in their attitude toward women, with the family, even in the interaction between the people in the unit." Along with operational successes, which have naturally remained far from the public eye, the names of some of the unit's members have been linked to dubious affairs in recent years. One of the unit's commanders became criminally entangled because of a romantic affair. Another accidentally discharged his pistol during a meeting with the command personnel. Jean-Pierre Elraz, who last year was accused of murdering Yitzhak Kvartatz, the security coordinator of Kibbutz Manara, is a former member of the unit (and afterward served in the Shin Bet); so is Major Yosef Amit, who was convicted of aggravated espionage and contact with a foreign agent. During the IDF's 18-year presence in Lebanon, the members of Unit 504 were especially active across Israel's northern border. To this day the Lebanese press occasionally runs stories about the arrest and trial of local agents who operated in the service of Unit 504. In November 1998, a Lebanese court convicted no fewer than 57 citizens of collaborating with Israel via the unit. The penalty for this offense: death. The unit's extensive activity in Lebanon placed Camp 1391 at the center of affairs. It became the entry gate to Israel for Lebanese, especially those who were suspected of membership in Hezbollah, who were transferred to the southern side of the border. Some of them were captured in battle, others were abducted at Israel's initiative. The most famous of the abductees are Sheikh Abd al Karim Obeid, who was seized in 1989, and Mustafa Dirani, who was brought by force to Israel in 1994. The helicopter in which members of Sayeret Matkal, the ultra-elite reconnaissance unit, took Obeid from his home in the town of Jibsheet, took him directly to the gates of Camp 1391. The next time Obeid left the camp - apart from medical checks and to appear in court when his detention was extended - was 13 years later. Last summer Obeid and Dirani were moved to Ashmoret prison, near Kfar Yona in the Netanya area. However, well-known anti-Israel activists such as Obeid and Dirani are not the only abductees who have been thrown into Camp 1391. When the soldiers of Sayeret Matkal entered Obeid's house in the dead of night they encountered a few other people, too, among them some of Obeid's relatives and his bodyguard. Hashem Fahaf, then about 20, who happened to visit the sheikh that day to receive his blessing and decided to stay overnight, was especially unlucky. The soldiers bundled him into the helicopter, too. He spent the next 11 years incarcerated in Israel, initially in Camp 1391 and afterward in Ayalon Prison in Ramle. During this entire period he was not tried or accused of any crime. In the first years of his incarceration, Israel denied he was in the country and refused him any contact with the outside world. In April 2000, Fahaf, by now 31, was released by order of the Supreme Court. Together with him another 18 Lebanese, who according to the official version were being held as "bargaining chips" for the missing air force navigator Ron Arad, were also released. The group included two men who had been kidnapped and brought to Israel when they were teenagers aged 16 and 17, as well as Ghasan Dirani, a relative of Mustafa Dirani, who developed catatonic schizophrenia during his incarceration in Israel. At one stage or another, all of them were held in Camp 1391. Inside the facility In aerial photographs of the area in which Camp 1391 is located - as is the case with aerial photos of other security-sensitive sites in the country - the facility and the large building in its center are nonexistent. Most maps of Israel also do not cite the facility, though on a few maps of the Nature and National Parks Protection Authority, it is marked by means of a letter, with no further explanation. There is no sign on the main road directing the curious to the camp. After we drove around the base a couple of times and stopped a bit to take pictures, a security vehicle was sent out to follow us for a few kilometers. At the first opportunity, two armed and surly security men got out of the vehicle and barraged us with questions. Anyone entering the camp has to negotiate two iron gates draped with barbed wire. The first gate closes after the visitor enters and only then does the second gate open. The detention and interrogation section is located not far from the mess hall. A person who served on the base recalls with a smile that a poster spelling out the main points of the Geneva Convention hung on one of the walls of the dining hall. The cells proceed along a corridor; they abut one another but are separated by thick concrete walls. The detainees can communicate by knocking on the walls, "and they often shout to one another," relates an officer who served in the facility. "That is forbidden, but we didn't always have the energy to deal with it." The detainees are led into the facility blindfolded, to prevent them from knowing where they are. Their personal effects are taken from them, as are their clothes and they are given blue pants and a blue shirt. The cells are pretty much identical, though there are two levels of detainees: those who are in the middle of being interrogated, who get the worst cells and worst conditions; and those whose interrogation has been completed. Two of the cells are relatively large (2.5 x 4 meters), have reasonable lighting and running water, and are therefore called the "villas" by the prisoners. Sheikh Obeid shared one of the "villas" with two Lebanese detainees. Two of the solitary confinement cells are considered the worst of the lot. They are 1.25 x 1.25 meters in size, almost completely dark, and the walls are painted black or red. The differences between the other cells are largely insignificant, expressed mainly in the form of a few basic rights that are accorded to those whom the system no longer has any reason to subject to psychological pressure. The doors of the cells are made of heavy steel, with a small crack - which can be opened only from the outside - being the only opening to the outside world. The cells measure about 2 x 2 meters and are made entirely of concrete on the inside. There are no windows or any source of external light. Abutting one of the walls is a concrete platform that serves as a bed, with a mattress and a blanket on it. On the wall opposite is an orifice, a kind of pipe through which water flows, but the tap is controlled by soldiers outside the cell. Below the water source is a hole in the floor that the detainees use to relieve themselves. That, it turns out, is a privilege. In some of the cells, apparently those used for detainees under interrogation, there is no place at all to go to the toilet: the prisoners have to use a large plastic bucket, which is emptied only once every few days. There are ventilation openings in the upper part of the cells, but the main testimony to their existence is the noise they make when they are turned on. A lamp protected by heavy glass casts a dim light 24 hours a day. The detainees have no way to tell night from day. Most of the cells are also under supervision by means of cameras that send the images via closed-circuit television. The majority of the prisoners are incarcerated alone, though some of the cells have two concrete platforms and in some cases hold two prisoners. The detainees receive the same food the soldiers get. Three times a day, soldiers open the door, bring in a dish and then close the door. The procedure is that before the soldier enters he knocks at the door, at which point the detainee must place a black sack on his head and turn around with his hands raised. The warders, members of the Military Police who are seconded to the facility, are not armed. Weapons may not be introduced into the facility, to prevent a situation in which one of the prisoners might seize a warder's weapon. The warders are only allowed to open the cell doors in pairs. Once a day the detainees - those whose interrogation has ended - are allowed out for one hour in a small inner courtyard of sand and vegetation. The conditions of imprisonment, says a person who served in the facility, are relatively reasonable. Similarly, attorney Zvi Rish, the lawyer of Obeid, Dirani and many of the other Lebanese who were incarcerated in the facility in the 1990s, confirms that his clients had no special complaints about the conditions - referring only to the period after their interrogation had ended. What goes on during the interrogation process is another story altogether, one that sheds light on one of the darker corners of Israel. Let George do it On Friday evening, July 28, 1989, the adrenaline was coursing through Camp 1391. In a well-planned operation, Sayeret Matkal succeeded in grabbing Sheikh Obeid from his bed in the town of Jibsheet, about eight kilometers north of the Israeli border. Obeid was considered a spiritual authority in Hezbollah, but despite the high hopes, his abduction did not further the search for Ron Arad, who had been missing since his plane was downed over Lebanon three years earlier. Soldiers who served in the facility at the time say that in the course of time they developed good relations with prisoner no. 801260. They taught him Hebrew - he reached an impressive level of fluency in the language - and he taught them Arabic. Obeid is described as the spiritual mentor of the prisoners and even of the warders. "With him everything was done quietly and with restraint, with grace and decorum. Even the warders treated him almost like `your honor the rabbi,'" recalls an officer who served at the facility. In May 1994 an honorable guest joined the order of the Lebanese prisoners at Camp 1391: Mustafa Dirani. He was another bargaining chip from whom Israel hoped to extract information about Ron Arad, or even to exchange for Arad, but he, too, proved a disappointment. Many months of planning preceded the abduction of Dirani, who was head of the security division in the Shi'ite movement Amal, and as such had been responsible for holding Ron Arad for about two years. A few days before he was seized and brought to Israel, the interrogators of Unit 504 were given all the intelligence material that had been collected about him. When he arrived at the facility there was a feeling of an imminent breakthrough. In the first days of the interrogation all the ranking members of the defense establishment turned up at the facility - prime minister Yitzhak Rabin, the chief of staff, the director of Military Intelligence and officials from the Mossad espionage agency and the Shin Bet. Dirani's interrogation began seconds after he was grabbed. In special cases interrogators from Unit 504 accompany a force that operates across the lines, with the aim of taking advantage of the abductee's initial shock. The interrogation continued in the vehicle that brought Dirani to his cell in Camp 1391 and then for the next five weeks continuously around the clock. The chief interrogators were the unit commander, career and reservist personnel - the latter were mobilized especially for the mission -and above all a major who introduced himself as George. George, who is now 43 and lives in a small community in the center of the country, is dark with cropped hair, brown eyes and a solid body. He is considered one of the unit's toughest interrogators. The relationship that developed between George and Dirani was the stuff of quite a few newspaper headlines. It will continue to engage the courts during the years to come. Still pending in Tel Aviv District Court is a suit filed by Dirani against the State of Israel and Major George concerning two incidents in which Dirani says he was subjected to sexual abuse. In the first case George called in four of the soldiers who were doing guard duty in the facility and one of them allegedly raped Dirani at George's orders. In another case, Dirani says in the suit, George himself inserted a wooden stick into his rectum. The court will have to decide whether these events occurred. A perusal of the affidavits that have been submitted to the court, testimonies of officers and soldiers who served in the facility and evidence given by other detainees who were there paints a picture of a horrific routine in the interrogation rooms of Camp 1391. Within the framework of that routine the interrogators of Unit 504 have no compunctions about making use of extreme measures in order to extract information - information that in a large percentage of the cases was not in their possession. "I know that it was customary to threaten to insert a stick," says T.N., an interrogator at the facility, in testimony he gave to Military Police investigators. "The intention was that the stick would be inserted if the subject did not talk ... I remember one case when something in that style was done ... George was interrogating one of the prisoners ... He called in S. and me. We came into the room and S. dropped his pants and remained in his underwear or he made clicking noises with his belt as though he was opening it ... S. did this during the interrogation, when George told [the prisoner] that he would be raped in the *** ... I remember for certain that the situation was threat of rape ... "I want to add about that prisoner that he arrived in the room naked, handcuffed and with his head covered. S. and I were in the room and one of us led him around the room and the other held the stick next to his rear end, with provocation and threat, that because he had been caught lying the stick would be shoved up his ***. When I say the stick was moved around next to his rear end, the idea was to touch his bottom with the stick and maybe even to shove it next to the rectum so he would think we were really going to stick it in." Dirani's complaint, along with other testimonies about what was going on in the interrogation rooms of Camp 1391, opened a Pandora's box in the army. George's line of defense was clear: The system, he said, abandoned me; everything I did was done with authority and authorization. Everyone knew, everyone gave their backing, and now everyone denies it all. To reinforce his case, George brandishes a petition that was signed by about 60 reserve officers and soldiers of the unit, in which they say it is wrong for George to have to pay a personal price for using working methods that were standard in the unit for many years. What, according to George, did he in fact do with authority and authorization? He denied the rape and the abuse with the stick, but confirmed many details that were reported by Dirani and other prisoners. For example, the fact that they often stood naked while being interrogated. The State of Israel also denied the rape charge in its response to Dirani's suit, though in the legal hearings the representative of the State Attorney's Office, Yael Tennenbaum, confirmed that "within the framework of a Military Police investigation the suspicion arose that an interrogator who questioned the complainant threatened to perform a sexual act on the complainant." The denial notwithstanding, George was dismissed from the career army, in which he had served for nearly 20 years, by order of the IDF's judge advocate general. He claimed the system was trying to silence him and the episode and filed a petition to the High Court of Justice to be reinstated into service. The petition was rejected. Today George sits at home, declining to talk about the case. But stains that will not soon be erased continue to hover in the skies above Camp 1391. Another example is the testimony of Ahmed Ali Banjek, a Lebanese citizen who was brought to Israel and interrogated in the facility on suspicion of smuggling an anti-helicopter missile into the former Israeli security zone in southern Lebanon. Banjek was convicted on the basis of his confession but afterward submitted an affidavit to the military court in Lod stating that the confession had been extracted under torture. He said he had been beaten with a wooden stick between the legs, forced to sit on a wooden stick until it penetrated into his body, made to drink coffee mixed with ashes from cigarettes and force-fed with large amounts of onions and water. In a rare judgment, the military court in Lod, under the president of the court, Lieutenant Colonel Elisha Caspi, found in April 1998 that "a certain doubt remains as to whether it can be asserted with the certainty required in a criminal trial that his statement was made by the defendant and signed by him." In other words, the court did not reject Banjek's account of the horrors that occurred in the interrogation rooms of Camp 1391, and he was released. CONTINUED http://www.haaretz.com/hasen/pages/shart... trassID=14&sbSubContrassID=0&l... A black hole (2 of 2) The new population Since Israel's withdrawal from Lebanon more than three years ago, and certainly since the eruption of the intifada in September 2000, the unit has actively employed agents among the Palestinians in the territories, an area that until then was the almost exclusive preserve of the Shin Bet. Along with the change in the character of the unit's activity, the population that is now brought to the facility has also changed. As far as is known, in the past the main, though not the only, occupants of the facility were citizens of foreign countries - a term that does not include the inhabitants of the Palestinian Authority. They included Lebanese who were captured or abducted and brought to Israel, Iraqis who defected from Saddam's army and hoped to find political asylum in Israel, and there are also stories about an Iranian or two who were held at the facility in the past. In the past year, and perhaps in earlier stages of the intifada as well, Palestinians too were incarcerated there at times. The most senior of them, as far as is known, is Marwan Barghouti, who was interrogated at the facility for a few days. "Barghouti sat on the same chair you are now sitting on," the interrogators said to one of the Palestinian detainees and made fun of the modest dimensions of the famous prisoner - "his legs didn't even reach the floor." The fact that Palestinians were being held at the secret facility was revealed almost by chance in legal discussions between the state and Hamoked - Center for the Defense of the Individual, a Jerusalem-based human rights organization. Hamoked, which helps Palestinians locate relatives who have been arrested by Israel, wanted to know what happened to Muatez Shahin, who was arrested last October 5 at his home in the village of Salfit, near Nablus in the West Bank. The IDF control center replied that "he is not on any list." After Hamoked and Shahin's relatives petitioned the High Court of Justice, the state referred them in its response to a policeman at the Kishon detention facility. However, when they contacted the policemen they were told that "Shahin is being held in a secret facility that is annexed to the Kishon facility." With that response they went back to the court and argued that the law and a series of legal precedents oblige the state to inform a detainee and his family of his exact place of incarceration. The case of Shahin was the first in a growing list of Palestinians who "disappeared" as though they had been swallowed up by the earth. Through the veteran attorney Lea Tsemel, Hamoked continued to press the state for answers - which arrived in bits and pieces. Yes, the representatives of the State Prosecutor's Office finally told the court, the state operates a facility whose name and location are security secrets. The state attorneys went on to say that even though the facility belonged to the army, the Palestinians had been interrogated there by the Shin Bet. However, the facility "served the Shin Bet only temporarily, this being due to a shortfall in places of detention ... Recently, though, the situation changed and it was decided that the Shin Bet no longer needs to make use of the facility in which the petitioners were held as a detention facility, and accordingly [the Shin Bet] removed from the facility the detainees it was holding there." However, within weeks of this statement to the court, Odit Corinaldi-Sirkis, a senior deputy to the state prosecutor, stated that the facility had been revived: "I wish to inform you," she wrote on June 4 to attorney Lea Tsemel, "that since our responses were submitted the circumstances have changed, and the security people have informed us that detainees are currently being held at facility 1391." A few days later, in her response to the court, the representative of the State Prosecutor's Office added more details: In the past five years "only a few detainees" were held at the facility, but because of the shortfall in places of detention in the wake of Operation Defensive Shield, in April 2002, the Shin Bet had made use of the facility, holding residents of the territories there for brief periods during their interrogation. Now [two months ago] a few detainees were being held there. The court was also told that the facility had been subjected to a review to ascertain the conditions in it, and according to the State Prosecutor's Office it met the accepted criteria in the facilities of the Prisons Service. Hamoked was not satisfied with this response. What began as an attempt to locate a few detainees soon became a matter of legal and democratic principle: What is the legal authority for operating the facility? Is the fact that its location and name are secret, and that it is not open to external, public and international review consistent with the letter of the law? The state, by the way, submitted to the court an interesting document, according to which then defense minister Benjamin Ben-Eliezer on April 16, 2002, signed an order declaring facility 1391 to be a military prison. Even if this document makes it legal to imprison people at the site, what does it say about the legality of the activity that was carried out there in all the years that preceded Ben-Eliezer's action? The answers to all these questions will have to be provided by the High Court of Justice, which is scheduled to take up the issue next month. It's very difficult to get substantive comments about facility 1391 from officials in the political, security or even legal spheres. A great many politicians, some of them with a rich security background, refused to say anything. Amnon Shahak, who was the director of Military Intelligence at the time of Sheikh Obeid's abduction, and later chief of staff, and was at one point briefly a candidate for prime minister, says he is "not interested in commenting on the subject." Oren Shahor, the chief intelligence officer at the beginning of the 1990s and today a program presenter on radio and television, says, "I can't help you with that." MK Zahava Gal-On (Meretz), who has put in a request to visit the site but has yet to receive a reply, says, "The fact that such a facility exists, whose location no one knows formally, is one of the signs of totalitarian regimes and of the Third World. It is inconceivable that detainees do not know where they are and that their relatives and lawyers don't know, either; that under the auspices of the army, the State of Israel is violating elementary rights of detainees. Even prisoners have rights. There are international conventions. It is inconceivable that the state abducts people and that there is no review or supervision. I visited all the interrogation facilities of the Shin Bet and there was no problem. So what's the problem here?" One big garbage pail Raab Bader, a 38-year-old accountant who is married and the father of two, was arrested last December at his work place - an engineering consultancy firm in Nablus. At 9:30 A.M. soldiers arrived at his office, but he wasn't there at the time. When he got back, he decided to wait for the soldiers, and they returned in the afternoon and took him away. His wife says he waited for them because he was convinced he had done nothing wrong and wasn't worried. She adds that he was asked by his interrogators about his ties with wanted individuals. Today he is in administrative detention - arrest without trial - at Ofer Camp near Ramallah. As he has not been brought to trial, it is very difficult to know what he is suspected of. What follows are extensive excerpts from his testimony about the 42 days he spent at facility 1391. He have the testimony to attorney Lea Tsemel on June 12 at Ofer Camp: "I was arrested on December 10, 2002. After being interrogated by the Shin Bet for 31 days in Petah Tikva, I was taken to a secret military facility. Those who took me there wore army uniforms. "I was blindfolded and black glasses were placed on top of the blindfold to prevent me from seeing anything. I was handcuffed and shackled. Soldiers sat me down on the floor of the car and the soldiers then covered me with a black cloth. I couldn't see a thing the whole time and I was kept on the floor of the car for the entire long trip. "I spent about 40 days at that place according to my count. I was never told the name of the place or where I was. I received different replies to my many questions. Sometimes I was told or they hinted that we were in Atlit, someone said Acre Prison, one interrogator said a 'submarine,' and many times the answer was that we were in 'space' or 'outside the borders of Israel.' " .... There are two types of solitary confinement cells that I got to know. At first, for the first 11 days - according to the count I tried to keep - I was held in the worst of the solitary confinement cells. By my measurement, the cell is 120 centimeters wide (a bit wider than a mattress) and about 2.5 meters long. There is a damp mattress (all the mattresses are always damp) on a platform about 30 centimeters high and there are damp blankets. The blankets have a terrible smell; the mattress, too. There is a large black plastic garbage pail in the room, a small pitcher for water, and a rag. "The room is completely black. All the walls are painted black, and I never saw the ceiling. When I looked up, I saw only darkness. Light of candle brightness penetrates weirdly from one side of the room, from a device that seems to be almost above the ceiling, and the light is filtered through three thick pieces of glass. The light in the room is so faint and illuminates such a small part of the room that if I had had a book it would have been totally impossible to read it. You can hardly see a thing. "Of course the room has no windows. You can't tell whether it is day or night or when day becomes night. I had no way to know when it was time for prayers, I could only guess. "There are one or two pipes in the ceiling, which are apparently for ventilation. I say apparently, because I could never ascertain where there was ventilation. Most of the time and in all the solitary confinement cells I felt I didn't have enough oxygen, and sometimes I thought I was about to pass out. "I spent many days in that solitary confinement cell and in others like it, and hour after hour I would talk to myself and feel that I was going crazy, or find myself laughing to myself. I would sit on the mattress, get up and walk around in a circle, and sit down again. The only thing that kept me sane was thinking about my wife and children. "What sets this solitary confinement cell apart from the others is the fact that it has no toilet facilities and no source of water ... I remember the first time I had to relieve myself. I thought about what to do, and in the end I removed my underpants, placed them on the floor, relieved myself into them, tied them up and threw them into the garbage pail. The pail remained with me in the cell as it was. On other occasions I had to stand on my toes so I could aim my droppings into it and not tip it over onto myself. "I myself did not wash during all these days and no one offered me a chance to wash. Of course I did not brush my teeth or wash my face. Three times a day they brought a little water in a pitcher into the cell. "On my ninth day in this stinking cell, when one of the soldiers had to come in or take me out, he almost threw up and rushed out of the cell. As usual, I stood against the wall with my head covered by a black cloth. He called another soldier and they made arrangements and plans for removing the garbage pail. They told me drag it. I told them I couldn't do that while blindfolded, and I dragged it but it was too heavy and I couldn't get it out of its niche. So they agreed to remove the blindfold and let me drag the garbage pail out the door, and then they blindfolded me again and one of the soldiers grabbed my shirt and pulled me while I was still dragging the stinking pail. "They led me to another solitary confinement cell, made me enter it with the pail and told me to empty it into the hole of the 'Turkish toilet' [a hole in the floor] in that cell. The soldiers were in control of water outside the cell, and as I emptied the pail they turned on a powerful jet of water and I and my clothes were dirtied. "They made me wash the pail. I demanded to wash myself and I told them I was a worshiper but I would not be able to pray while I was dirtied with excrement. That was the first time I saw running water there. I spoke so angrily that they agreed to let me wash myself. I asked for a towel and one of the soldiers went to my cell and brought the rag, which had an unbearable stench. "I asked for a new set of clothes and for a real towel but I didn't get them. All the behavior of the soldiers was coarse and filled with threats, and this time again they threatened that if I didn't use the opportunity I was being given I would not get another. I undressed as they watched through the opening and made insulting comments. I stood naked under a hole in the concrete from which water emerged. The soldiers turned on the water but didn't let me enjoy it for even five minutes and then shut it off from the outside. "It was winter and cold, but I had no choice other than to put the soiled clothes on my wet body, and I was taken back with the sack on my head and an empty pail into the stinking cell. I stayed there for another two days. "After spending 11 days there I was upgraded to a cell with a Turkish lavatory. That isn't really a higher level, because the soldiers control the water no matter what and they decide when to supply it ... After I got to this cell I was given the chance to shower once a day. The way the shower works: a soldier declares the possibility of showering. I have to undress as the soldier watches through the crack in the door. When I am naked I have to stand above the toilet hole and pin myself against the wall so that the soldier will turn on the water of the 'shower.' The water comes from one hole in a concrete protrusion that is about 15 to 20 centimeters from the wall and about 1.5 meters from the floor. To get flowing water you have to stand right against the wall and wait for the water. "I declare that the soldiers never turned on the water for more than five minutes. They can control whether the water is hot or cold and they make use of that as they please ... To illustrate the soldiers' control of the water, I will tell you that one time I had soaped myself and the soldiers decided to shut off the water. I yelled, I pounded on the door and after my shouts and demands the soldier acceded and turned on freezing water. "Everyone knew about these conditions. Obviously the soldiers who did guard duty at the cell knew. So did the paramedic who saw me every day and the doctors who saw me once or twice a week. Of course all the interrogators, to the last of them, knew about it and apparently gave the orders for it. The paramedic and the doctors, who I would have expected would be compassionate men of medicine, saw me day after day in the same clothes, without underpants, smelled the stench that came off me day after day and said nothing, as though this is the way of the world. "The interrogators truly suffered from the way I smelled. The interrogator Yoni had to suffer my stench day after day. I remember that one day Yoni approached me and looked as though he was about to pass out. He said 'Rihtak hara' [You smell like ****] and told me I had to finish the interrogation. Many times, when the questioning was over, he and the other interrogators would say, 'Arja listal al hara' [Go back to the **** pail]. "When I was in Yoni's interrogation room he would turn on the air conditioner right over me. It was winter and cold, and many times I told him I was cold, but he went on doing it. I understand why, because my smell was intolerable. "It's also clear that the judges could know, too, if they bothered to ask why people who are filthy and stinking are brought before them. For my two remands in custody I was brought from that facility to the Kishon Prison (Jalama). When I was brought before a judge after 22 days in the facility I complained to him, I showed him my undershirt and I told him that when I was arrested it was white and now it was yellow, and I told him I had no underpants. I asked him to smell me and told him that I couldn't wash without a towel and clean clothes. The lawyer who was there told me that the judge told the soldiers to give me clothes. "That night, at about 11 P.M., in the facility, they brought me clothes that were used but clean. They didn't bring a towel. When I asked for a towel in the days that followed I always got the same answer: 'Quiet.' "During the whole period I was given food in the cell and made to eat sitting down. The food arrives on a fairly small dish. Three meals a day. The food was tastier than in the Shin Bet interrogation division in Petah Tikva. The problem was with the cleanliness. In the filthy solitary cell the soldiers would place the portion of food on the garbage pail, and in the second cell they put the food right on the toilet. Once I went on a hunger strike because of that and I refused to eat the food and complained to the Shin Bet agent, but no one was the least impressed. I did not get any hot drinks other than once in a while insipid tea that I had to spill out. I lost 14 kilograms during my stay there. "There is no opening to the light or the sun and no daily walk. There is no possibility of getting a prayer book."
my friends horror dream?? (ignore the names) im brandon tho =] Do you wanna tell us what dream you had last night that you wish of not having it? Yes... Last night i was at the hospital cause i couldnt breath. I was looking at that one picture that , Me, LILY, BRENDAN,SENH, CJ, amy AND JESSICA. Took all together last year... then I fell a sleep Then I was at a house , it was a really weird house! It was small and wasnt really that great. I looked around and found my SELF sitting at a couch... Then I saw a really buff guy and my brother sitting down with me, then it started to became wierd... the buff guy was hitting me with a belt, but I didnt feel anything. And I looked at my brother and all he was doing was smiling at me... then I started crying cause I was scared and confused... I stated hitting the guy back with all I have , then another guy showed up . He was fat and was gonna help the other guy beat me up, then my brother stood up and started puntching the other guy... then i was back at my grandma's house at MILPITAS... There was my brother, SENH , and LILY , I walked outside , and I saw the whole town was like a disaster, it didnt make sense to me... I was so confused , and LILY came up to me and said " dont be scared everything is fine" then his eyes started glowing! I was so shocked , then she turned into SENH and his eyes started bleeding I was so FUCKIN Scared i ran. After running for a while i saw CJ and TIFFANY. I hugged TIFFANY and we were both crying, i said whats going on? She said i dont know ... then CJ said he saw KELLIE I said where? CJ said he saw her at burnett but she looked like she was dead... i said " can you show me where burnett is ?" then we started running to BURNETT, and KELLIE WASNT DEAD! She was hidding inside the restroom ! We found her sitting at a chair at the corner, she said JOROMEL!!! I said " whats wrong ?" she said " we have to meet the others" i said who? She said " BREANNA C and BRIANNA P" Then we started heading to the teen center... when we were walking, we saw a butch of guys running twords us , with guns . We ran as fast as we could , but then TIFFANY fell down, and sprian her knee, ME and CJ was carrying TIFFANY, then we saw the Teen Center, but the doors was covered up with wood . Then we heard BRIANNA P'S voice She said " hurry were gonna open the gates from the swimming pool. Then BREANNA C showed up With , IZZY , MARQUEL, and BRANDON, they were opening up the gates . And they let us in, breanna and brianna p started hugging us all... we put TIFFANY at the couch , and she said her knee still hurts, then marquel said " wheres BRENDAN " I said BRENDAN was here, they said he went out with, ARNEIL , to find JEWEL AND ESFIL . Then not to soon the guys that were following us with guns was back , they started hopping the gate and was trying to break the back door. IZZY said what do we do? Then we went to one of the other doors that leads out from the teen center, then we started running to cardoza , with TIFFANY being carried by marquel and IZZY... i said "seriously whats going on" Then MARQUEL came up to me and said, " listen, our goverment needed more soldeir for the war, so they started getting our parents and sending them to war" i started crying so hard, thinking they are dead... then BREANNA C said we have to move on! The safest place now is rancho. Then i said wel what are we waiting for? Then we started running to rancho and then right when we were tired Mr. Burns and Mr. Lopez , was on a truck, and they said " guys get in" then we went into the truck and we all saw , BRENDAN , ARNEIL and JEWEL ASLO ESFIL, then MARQUEL said how did you guys ending up on Mr. Lopez truck, BRENDAN said cause mr lopez just saw them, and said ride with us. So it was ME, BREANNA C, BRIANNA P, CJ, IZZY TIFFANY , BRENDAN , KELLIE, AND BRANDON We all made it safe to RANCHO, Then i said are people there too at RUSSEL, and BREANNA said " no the school got bombed " Then when we got down we entered the the basket ball court inside the gym.. We saw EVERYBODY, EVERY BODY WAS A MESS ! Then mr. Lopez with microphone up at the stage said , " we need to settle down and listen " He said that the american army is picking us up by busses and we have to wait for a couple of hour before they get here... then the buss came, the people that were in my buss was wendy amy franz , JENELAH and ADRIAN,... a couple of min later A big explotion happen. All the busses exploted with kids on it, exept our buss, but the only people that survive was me and amy and the buss driver THEN WE STARTED DRIVING AGAIN UNTIL THE GUY THAT WAS DRIVING GOT SHOT, AND THE BUSS WAS OUTTA CONTROL SO I TRIED DRIVING THE BUSS , BUT I RAN OVER SOMONE, THE NAME STARTED WITH A B..... does this mean anything or just a horror dream?
elvis alive? The only time I feel alive... is when I'm in front of my audience, my people. That's the only time I really feel like I'm human." "Long after I'm gone, what I did today will be heard by someone. I just want them to get the best of what I had." (Elvis Presley) Is Elvis Alive ? There are many reasons to believe that Elvis Presley is dead. When the only arguments to believe otherwise come from crazed fans and supermarket tabloids, it is easy to dismiss the possibility that Elvis is still among us. However, the circumstances surrounding Elvis' alleged death are quite mysterious and beg closer attention. As it turns out, there are many concrete reasons to believe that Elvis is still alive. The Gravesite. Elvis' name is misspelled on his headstone. Elvis' full name is Elvis Aron Presley, but on his grave his middle name is spelled incorrectly with two a's. His father would not have let this happen. When Elvis was born, his name was misspelled on his birth certificate, and his father went to great lengths to get it put right. The unique spelling of Elvis' name was important to his family. Elvis' current "resting place" is in between his father and his grandmother and not next to his mother where he had adamantly requested. It is doubtful that the people close to him would allow these things to happen. Elvis is a superstitious man, enough so that he wouldn't tempt fate by putting his real name on a tombstone, or violate the ground next to his mother until he was ready to be placed there for good. Death Certificate. Elvis was very vain, and he was embarrassed about his recent weight gain, an astonishing 50 pounds in the month before his so-called death. Even though he weighed about 250 pounds at the time of his "death," his death certificate lists him at a spry 170 pounds. The original death certificate disappeared, and the current death certificate is dated two months after his alleged death. The Wax Body Theory. This argument is very convincing when the facts are considered. Elvis' coffin required several pall bearers because it weighed 900 pounds. Attendants of the funeral reported that the air around the coffin was rather cool. It is suspected that the coffin contained an air conditioning unit to keep a wax body cool, a wax body that was a replica of Elvis designed to fool funeral-goers. And how did the Presley family get a 900 pound, custom made coffin ready for a funeral that was held on the day after his death? It takes a lot of time to build such an elaborate coffin. And why was the funeral so quickly? Some say that the immediacy was intended to make it as difficult as possible for the people who were Elvis' biggest fans to attend the proceedings. It could be a concern that they might recognize the flaws in the wax replica. Elvis was an 8th degree black belt whose hands were rough with calluses, yet the body in the coffin had hands that were soft and pudgy. The body in the coffin had a pug nose and arched eyebrows {unlike Elvis} and most importantly, one of the sideburns on the "corpse" was loose and falling off. A hairdresser later reported gluing the sideburn back on the body. Unusual Behavior. Two hours after Elvis' death was announced publicly, a man who reportedly looked remarkably like Elvis purchased a ticket for Buenos Aeries, paid in cash, and used the name John Burrows: the same name Elvis had used as an alias several times before. Elvis had a few books that were considered to be his most prized possessions. He had a bible, several pharmaceutical books, books on death, and most importantly Chiro's Book of Numbers and The Autobiography of Yogi which I will explain more about later. After Elvis's death was announced, these books disappeared and were never recovered. In the weeks preceding his alleged death, Elvis' actions were not those of a man who was about to embark on an extensive US tour. He ordered no new suits despite having gained 50 pounds since his last tour, and he bid "adios" at his last show in Hawaii. He had never done this before. Adios, like the French adieu, has the significance of being a final good-bye as opposed to an "I'll be seeing you on my next tour" kind of good-bye. Others were intrigued by Elvis' decision to sign a lucrative TV deal with NBC that would cover the tour. It was unprecedented for a network to pay such a large amount up front, in cash, for such a deal. Many wonder why Elvis even agreed to the deal since his vanity discouraged him from making public appearances due to his weight gain. RCA showed uncanny and unbelievable foresight by mass producing millions of Elvis' current and previous recordings and merchandise. This is standard practice for an act that is about to go on tour, but the numbers in this case were beyond reasonable expectations. The announcement of Elvis' death caused record sales to skyrocket. Elvis did other unusual things that created suspicion. First, he fired several employees that he had relied upon for a long time. Also, two days before his alleged death, Elvis telephoned a friend of his named Miss Foster. He told her that he wasn't planning on going on the upcoming tour. She asked him if he had canceled it, and he said that he had not. When she asked if he was ill, he said that he was fine, and that she should not ask any more questions or tell anyone anything, and that she should not believe anything she read. He told her that his troubles would all soon be over, and that he would call her in a few weeks. The author of Elvis Where Are You? writes that Miss Foster took a polygraph test regarding this story, and that she was not lying. The day after Elvis' alleged death, a woman named Lucy De Barbon, a former lover of Elvis, received a single rose in the mail. The card indicated that the flower was from "El Lancelot." This had been her pet name for Elvis, and it was a name that no one else knew. Flowers can't be sent from beyond the grave. This was Elvis' way of letting her know that he was not dead, even though he didn't want to be found. Chiro's Book of Numbers. Elvis had a fascination with numerology, an interest he fed by reading Chiro's Book of Numbers. The theory that Elvis orchestrated his death is further supported when considering the significance of the date of his alleged death. The date in question is August 16, 1977. By adding the numbers in the date, 8, 16, and 1977, you get 2001. This is the title of Elvis' favorite movie in which the hero plans his immortality in the bathroom. Elvis spent a considerable amount of time doing the same: planning his afterlife on the toilet.. Elvis spent so much time in the bathroom that he had his toilet converted into a reclining comfy chair. Coincidentally, the bathroom is also where Elvis' body was reportedly found. Given Elvis' religious beliefs, he had a fascination with things that come in threes, for example, father, son, and holy ghost. The sum of the digits from his favorite film (2+0+0+1) is three. Let's consider the triad of the repetition of the number 24. 2001 (favorite film) less 1977 (year of death) is 24. The two numbers from the day of death (8/16) when added up equal 24. The sum of the digits in the year of death (1+9+7+7) also equals 24. That is 3 occurrences of the number 24 which is divisible by 3, and when divided by three the result, 8 has a perfect cubed root (2x2x2=8). Elvis loved numerology, and when you consider the numeric significance of the date of his alleged death, it is clear that if indeed he did plan to fake his death, he could not have chosen a better date. Reason Elvis had many reasons to fake his death.It has been said that Elvis' life was in danger. He had recently lost $10,000,000 in an airplane/real estate deal with a California based organization called the "Fraternity" that had links to the Mafia. It is speculated that he corroborated with the government to expose the organized crime ring in exchange for protection, perhaps in the form of a new life and identity compliments of the Witness Protection Program. Elvis was a prisoner of his own fame. He had many other reasons to leave his life behind. Because of his incredible popularity he recieved several death threats, and he was concerned about the safety of his ex-wife and daughter. Sometimes when he wanted to leave Graceland he would send look-alikes out to distract would be followers. Elvis was also known to ride in the trunk of someone else's car to avoid being seen. Once, when he fell ill in Las Vegas, he couldn't get proper medical attention because the hospital was overwhelmed by fans. At the time of his alleged death, Elvis thought he was nearing the end of his career. He saw his self as 42 with greying hair, overweight, and he thought his voice was starting to weaken,. He was going down hill, and he was too proud to go out with a whimper. He would never want his fans to see him in such an unhealthy condition. Elvis had shown a fascination with death on several occasions. In the days leading up to his alleged death he was reported to have visited funeral homes at odd hours of the night with close friends. Was he doing research? Elvis once faked his death by setting up an elaborate shooting in which a would be killer fired blanks at Elvis who had a blood pack which he discharged. It was Elvis' intention to see how the people closest to him would react to his death. Perhaps what he learned convinced him to do it for real. Finally, one of Elvis' favorite books is the spiritual Autobiography of Yogi. One of the central themes of this book is the relinquishing of one's wealth and earthly possessions to achieve spiritual oneness. Elvis could do this, as well as address his other concerns of sanity and safety by faking his death and living in exile. Means. Elvis had the means to fake his own death. He is accused of destroying himself with drugs. In reality, Elvis was a pharmaceutical expert. He took a lot of drugs, but he knew what he was doing and was extremely careful. He knew what drugs he could self-administer to create a deathlike state. Also Elvis' experience with the martial arts was such that he could slow his heart rate and breathing in order to feign death. Elvis' manager, Colonel Tom Parker, had once created a new identity for himself. He came to America as an illegal immigrant from Holland, but through various connections managed to create a new identity complete with a passport, birth certificate, drivers license, and social security number. He would have known how to give Elvis a second life. Aswell as Elvis' ties to the government through his testimony against the "Fraternity", Elvis was known to interact with the President of the United States. He was reported in government documents to use the name John Burrows as an alias when he wanted to travel. Some people believe that Elvis worked for the government as a drug agent. He did, after all have extensive contact with many people in the music business who, as we know, tend to dabble in illegal substances. And, of course, we must allow that Elvis' connections to the government gave him access to the Witness Protection Program. If they can turn the Simpsons into the Thompsons, they can relocate anybody. Orion? Many believe that Elvis couldn't have given up performing completely. Just imagine, after a while the desire to perform would grow once he started his life in exile. The story of Orion supports the theory that Elvis attempted a secret comeback. Shortly after Elvis' alleged death, a masked singer by the name of Orion emerged on the scene. He was big like Elvis, and he sang just like Elvis. Because of the mask no one could tell his true identity. One fan described seeing Orion from near the stage. She claims that Orion left the stage between songs, and when he appeared moments later the sweat was gone from his armpits and back and she thought that his costume looked slightly different. After the song he left the stage, and the original Orion returned. Another fan described how she rushed into a tour bus at an Orion show only to see two Orions in the back of the bus. She claimed that one ducked into the bathroom before she could get a good look at him, but he appeared to look like Elvis Presley. What's even more remarkable is the fictional story called Orion that was written by Gail Brewer-Georgio about a legendary performer who had several identities and wanted to fake his death. The story was written and submitted to the William Morris Agency for publication consideration after Elvis' alleged death and before the real Orion ever performed. As it turns out, there are many ways in which the real Orion mimicked the events as described in the book. For example, the performers' managers had the same name. Also, without knowing it, Brewer-Georgio wrote of events in Orion that had actually taken place in Elvis' life. It was a case of life imitating art. Picking up the Pieces. In 1981, 20/20 did an investigation into the circumstances surrounding the alleged death of Elvis Presley. The investigative report was very convincing. Oddly enough, within two weeks of the report, the singer, Orion, disappeared and was never heard from again. The book, Orion disappeared from shelves across the country. It had been recalled by the publisher which was associated with the William Morris Agency. Incidentally, the William Morris Agency is the same agency that represented Elvis. It seems that Elvis Presley is worth more dead than alive. By faking his death and relocating with a new identity he is safe from his fans and the "Fraternity", the government can make a solid case against the organized crime ring, and RCA, Elvis' family, and Elvis' management can all reap immense financial benefits from the attention. That is... except for one benefit....after nearly 25 years no one has collected on his life insurance policy. Why ????? During his last concert tour in 1977, Elvis spoke of "not looking good tonight", but, he would look good in his coffin. He made comments of being tired of living as he was and how it was going to change. He told of how he would like to be just himself instead of an "image". On August 16th 1977, at 8:00 A.M., Elvis told Ginger Alden that he was going into the bathroom to read. (This bathroom/lounge had it's own back entrance.) For the next six hours no one saw him. Elvis signed for a special delivery letter at 9:30 A.M. At 2:00 P.M. Ginger Alden found the apparent body of Elvis lying on the floor in front of his chair, where he had been reading. She called Al Strada who in turn called Joe Esposito. George Nichopoulous (aka Dr. Nick) was then telephoned. Joe called the fire department, unit 6. The ambulance arrived at Graceland at 2:33 P.M. Paramedics administered CPR, despite rigor mortis. The body was taken to Baptist Memorial Hospital at 2:48 P.M. By 3:00 P.M. Elvis' family members and friends were informed of his "death". Public announcement was given at 3:30 P.M. August 17th, the body was brought back to Graceland for family viewing. The public viewing was from 3:00 P.M. to 6:30 P.M. On August 18th,1977. Tennesse Governor Ray Blanton ordered flags to be flown at half-mast for the duration of the funeral procession. At midday the Graceland gates swung open, a white Cadillac hurse rolled through them, followed by sixteen white Cadillac limousines. QUESTIONS BEGIN How could it take twenty minutes for paramedics to drive sixteen blocks to Graceland if the call came in at 2:33 P.M.? The Medical Examiner's Report states that the body was found with rigor mortis, while the police report states "unconcious". Why would anyone try to give CPR to a rigor mortised body ? The ME report listed the body as weighing 80 pounds lighter then Elvis' actual weight. How could Elvis have passed a physical exam just prior to August 16th if his heart was so enlarged ? How could he have played raquetball for several hours on August 16th, just before his "death" ? ABC's 1979 program on the cover up of Elvis' death stated that all the stomach contents were destroyed. Bill Burkin in his book Elvis World states that officials at Babtist Memorial Hospital had assured him that the stomach contents had been shipped to a California lab to be examined and then on to a lab in Utah, and then ? There are rumors of Elvis' "death" being caused by a heart attack, drug overdose, suffocation in carpeting, suicide and even cancer ! Persons in attendance at Graceland at the time of "death" don't agree on the color of pajamas Elvis was wearing or the posistion of the body. Why did Vernon ask many people NOT to attend the funeral but to come a week later ? Why did Vernon refuse to accept the flag which is usually given to dead war veterans ? Why didn't Elvis have any new jumpsuits made during 1977 ? The handwriting on the death certificate matched Elvis' own writing ! Elvis was very aware of which presribed drugs did not mix well with others. Elvis had glaucoma, and Dexedrine, a drug not to be taken with that condition, was listed as being in his system. Who would prescribe it and why would he take it ? Whose body was autopsied ? Funeral homes don't usually keep solid copper coffins in stock. These coffins weigh in the area of 300 pounds and usually take two months to receive once ordered. This coffin seemed to have been ready. Monte Nicholson, a nineteen year veteran of the Los Angeles Sheriffs Department, wrote a novel called The Presley Arrangement. This novel tells the story of a body that is autopsied, a man resembling Elvis. The man had died of cancer. The body is later returned for private burial, to the man's own family. The man's family are paid to remain silent about the incident. Nicholson explains a government connection. In a 1989 radio interview Nicholson said that even if he knew there was an FBI connection and was told not to say anything, he COULD NOT say. Nicholson also claimed that if he knew the answer to the question, and says he does, he will not disclose his knowledge. He said that if Elvis is alive that his book is pretty close to the truth of what REALLY happened. Was Elvis a DEA (Drug Enforcement Agency) agent ? Elvis can be seen wearing a DEA Staff jacket in several photographs, including one taken in June of 1977, approximately six weeks before his "death". Also Elvis was wearing a jogging suit with the DEA logo on it during the early morning hours of August 16th 1977. When Elvis met with President Richard Nixon he said he had been "studying" the drug culture for over 10 years, he could get into any culture group and be accepted. Elvis said he had gotten alot from the country and he wanted to repay in some way. It would have been a dangerous job and one that an entertainer such as Elvis would not have HAD to do unless he chose to. Many DEA agents pose as "drug users" and "pushers" in their undercover work. Elvis could get to anyone if he appeared to be a "user". In the book Elvis: What Happened? one of the guys wondered if Elvis was ever as whacked out as he seemed to be. Maybe he is a "great" actor after all. Perhaps he deserves an "Oscar". Death threats were issued against Elvis and his family. Those who had leveled those threats had actually broken into Graceland. At times, the FBI were called. Deputy Narcotics Director John Finlator arranged for Elvis to come to his office under the name of John Burrows. Finlator didn't want to give Elvis a badge but the President reversed the decision. On December 21st of 1970, Elvis met with President Richard Nixon in the oval office, Washington, D.C. Elvis had written a letter requesting a meeting and expressed his concerns about the drug culture, hippie elements, the SDS and other groups who were against the establishment. When Finlator finally gave Elvis the badge and promised to issue him consultant credentials, Elvis was overcome with emotion and his eyes became misty. Ten days later he met with the FBI. On the same day, President Nixon wrote Elvis a thank you. Elvis wrote to the President and said, "I can and will do more good, if I were made a Federal Agent at large, and I will help out by doing it my way." Elvis was known to be in his bedroom for weeks, seeing no one. (There was a back staircase at Graceland.) Elvis could sneak out whenever he needed to. Department of the Treasury-Bob Pritchett says that during the years of '74, '75, and '76 "Mr. Presley provided one of our undercover agents, who was a musician, a job cover. Undercover agents appear to have other occupations. None of Elvis' group of friends knew of this agent and the role he played in setting up his cover. Since he had an undercover agent in his group from '74-'76, when did he find time to use drugs himself? Elvis was very good at keeping secrets and living a "double life". Elvis spoke with President Carter two weeks before his death. It involved aid to a friend. On August 16, 1977, President Carter issued this tribute: "Elvis Presley's death deprives our country of a part of itself. He was unique and irreplaceable. More than twenty years ago he burst upon the scene with an impact that was unprecedented and will probably never be equaled. His music and his personality, fusing the styles of white country and black rhythm and blues, permanently changed the face of American popular culture. His following was immense and he was a symbol of good humor of his country." This was a formal statement, when a celebrity's death is usually only commented on. He had spoken to Nixon and Carter both shortly before the day he died. In the September 1988 issue of American Karate magazine, Ed Parker tells of a time when a terrorist group threatened Elvis' life to make him an example of how they could get to famous people. They threatened to plant a bomb in one of the gifts offered to Elvis at a concert. This was a threat as long as he was "alive", and his family were targets also. Elvis always had law enforcement officials around him. John O'Grady, who was earlier in charge of NARC Divisions of the LAPD, was one of them. He also hired Dick Grob, a former sargeant with the Palm Springs Police. He was surrounded by at least two lawmen in top security positions. Elvis was in danger. The "hoax" may have been the only way out! History will prove Elvis to be an American hero beyond being an American entertainer. SIGHTINGS With all the Elvis lookalikes, he could actually walk around using disguises and get away with it. Who would be looking for him anyway, when he is supposedly dead? Before 1977, there was an "Elvis lookalike, sound alike" at a Memphis theatre. Elvis put on his best "Elvis outfit", strolled in and mingled with the clones, doing his best "Hey, baby". Afterwards, he came back to Graceland laughing. He tried out and lost! Elvis and his mother's bodies were moved to the Meditation Gardens for burial, after three men tried to break into the crypt. Graceland was rezoned to permit burials at the estate. In the 1989 Orion's "Farewell to the King", the King says "I died once. I had to be willing to give up everything, even the will to live." The last recording session at Graceland was The Last Farewell. There have been many sightings at various places including Graceland. There are some escape routes at Graceland that people don't know about. In a syndicated newspaper across the nation on June 5, 1990, an article headlined "Elvis Lives, At Least On Census Form." The Census Bureau reported in 1990 that Elvis returned a questionaire to the bureau office in Huntsville, Alabama. It was noticed by census workers who were screening forms for completednesss. Late Night with Ross Shafer (August 1988) had a survey that showed that out of 30,000 people polled, approximately 84% believe Elvis is alive. On Monday, August 22, 1988, Harold Schuitmaker, in an item of the Detroit News, said "Elvis is Alive and Living in Kalamazoo." Schuitmaker was a well known Michigan politician and resident of Paw Paw (15 miles from Kalamazoo). The masked singer Orion was at the McMinnville Civic Center and a fan said that she felt that the man onstage and the one who signed autographs were different people. People have reported that someone sounding like Elvis called them on the phone and some hung up because they couldn't believe it. A book titled Elvis: Where Are You? came out of Wilton Manors, Florida around August, 1982 under the name of Al Jefferies. The premise of the book was that Elvis hoaxed his death. Kelly Burgess, a former assistant editor and feature writer with the Detroit News, claimed to have seen Elvis in Kalamazoo, Michigan. She is not living now. In 1988, Heartbreak Hotel starred David Keith as Elvis. (The film had the support of EP Enterprises.) A soundtrack album thanked Jerry Schilling and a special thanks to J.B. In 1987's Robo Cop, a cop is killed, but didn't die. He returns as Robo Cop-a superman hero. It was filmed in Michigan. During that time radio stations got calls from a man sounding like Elvis Presley. There have been lots of sightings there and it was also on his final concert tour. Is this possibly a "message" film? March 18, 1990, an article on Robo Cop, in the Detroit News told of Robo Cop speaking to a Boys and Girls club against drugs. It was a three month long anti-drug campaign organized by the FBI, Orion Home Video of New York, and the Boys Club of America. This Robo Cop was not the same actor as in the movie-his true identity was not revealed. he was a special agent helping the FBI fight the war on drugs. His suit was bullet-proof. During filming, some people saw a man looking like an older Elvis. In Mac and Me, a film from 1988, a young alien is lost and at the end the family drives away in an old pink Cadillac convertible. A balloon caption says "We'll be back". The sound track is on Curb Records, which is the same label as "Spelling on the Stone". There were some song lyrics which were: "Tired of being myself, being different from everyone else, somehow you knew I needed your help, be my friend forever. I never found my star in the night; living my dream was far from sight." There was a scene in the movie where Eric asks Debbie "Why didn't you tell him that you saw him (the alien)?" She says, "Because no one would believe me." Elvis has become a mythic figure, and there have been frequent rumors that he is still alive. Elvis remains the single most influential and respected figure in the history of Rock music. Elvis was the first Rock/Pop singer to have a single record sell a million copies, the first to go platinum with an album in less than two weeks, the first singer to pre-sell a million records before it's release, the first entertainer to earn a million dollars for one concert performance, and the first young, white, southern male to bring international attention to the importance of black rhythm and blues. He was the first singer to get a million dollar screen contract. He was the first music personality to have a TV performance broadcast worldwide via satellite. In 1993, he became the first rock'n'roll star whose picture appeared on a commemorative U.S. Postal stamp (the largest stamp printing in history). Elvis is a landmark in almost everyone's life, going back to distant memories of watching him above the waist on Ed Sullivan or hearing "Hound Dog" for the first time. His image continues to mesmerize: witness the appearance of 200 Elvis impersonators at Liberty Weekend in 1986. There was a time when he was merely the most popular entertainer in history. He is more than that now. He is a symbol of America as recognizable as the flag. Elvis opened the 'window of his soul' to his fans all over the world. Thank you, Elvis! Remember you are always on our minds. "TCB FOREVER! Any Comments on this ? E-mail Me i found this on the internet weird
Airline Announcements? Enjoy? ?? United Flight Attendant announced, "People, people we're not picking out furniture here, find a seat and get in it! ? ? ?On landing, the stewardess said, "Please be sure to take all of your belongings. If you're going to leave anything, please make sure it's something we'd like to have. " ? ? ?"There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane" ? ? ?An airline pilot wrote that on this particular flight he had hammered his ship into the runway really hard. The airline had a policy which required the first officer to stand at the door while the Passengers exited, smile, and give them a "Thanks for flying our airline." He said that, in light of his bad landing, he had a hard time looking the passengers in the eye, thinking that someone would have a smart comment. Finally everyone had gotten off except for a little old lady walking with a cane. She said, "Sir, do you mind if I ask you a question?" "Why, no, Ma'am," said the pilot. "What is it?" The little old lady said, "Did we land, or were we shot down?" As the plane landed and was coming to a stop at Ronald Reagan, a lone voice came over the loudspeaker: "Whoa, big fella, ?WHOA!" After a particularly rough landing during thunderstorms in Memphis, a flight attendant on a Northwest flight announced, "Please take care when opening the overhead compartments because sure as hell everything has shifted after a landing like that." Another flight attendant's comment on a less than perfect landing: "We ask you to please remain seated as Captain Kangaroo bounces us to the terminal." Overheard on an American Airlines flight into Amarillo , Texas , on a particularly windy and bumpy day: During the final approach, the Captain was really having to fight it. After an extremely hard landing, the Flight Attendant said, "Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to Amarillo . Please remain in your seats with your seat belts fastened while the Captain taxis what's left of our airplane to the gate!" "Your seat cushions can be used for flotation; and, in the event of an emergency water landing, please paddle to shore and take them with our compliments." "As you exit the plane, make sure to gather all of your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight attendants. Please do not leave children or spouses......except for that gentleman over there." Heard on Southwest Airlines just after a very hard landing in Salt Lake City - The flight attendant came on the intercom and said, "That was quite a bump, and I know what y'all are thinking. I'm here to tell you it wasn't the airline's fault, it wasn't the pilot's fault, it wasn't the flight attendant's fault, it was the asphalt." After a real crusher of a landing in Phoenix , the attendant came on with, "Ladies and Gentlemen, please remain in your seats until Capt. Crash and the Crew have brought the aircraft to a screeching halt against the gate. And, once the tire smoke has cleared and the warning bells are silenced, we'll open the door and you can pick your way through the wreckage to the terminal." Part of a flight attendant's arrival announcement: "We'd like to thank you folks for flying with us today. And, the next time you get the insane urge to go blasting through the skies in a pressurized metal tube, we hope you'll think of US Airways." Heard on a Southwest Airline flight - "Ladies and gentlemen, if you wish to smoke, the smoking section on this airplane is on the wing and if you can light 'em, you can smoke 'em." A plane was taking off from Kennedy Airport . After it reached a comfortable cruising altitude, the captain made an announcement over the intercom, "Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. Welcome to Flight Number 293, nonstop from New York to Los Angeles . The weather ahead is good and, therefore, we should have a smooth and uneventful flight. Now sit back and relax... OH, MY GOD!" ?Silence followed, and after a few minutes, the captain came back on the intercom and said, "Ladies and Gentlemen, I am so sorry if I scared you earlier. While I was talking to you, the flight attendant accidentally spilled a cup of hot coffee in my lap. You should see the front of my pants!" A passenger in Coach yelled, "That's nothing. You should see the back of mine!"?
what are you re feelings on Gypsy's? i am one and have my own plot of land all tarmacked and walls up gates on it and a big shally thats something thats licke a trailer but is not.there are 10 big plots all to gether on green belt land and the council passd it for life all who live her are rominey gypsys.i live in doncaster uk
Ways to say someone's not too bright? The wheel is spinning, but the hamster is dead. Got into the gene pool while the lifeguard wasn't watching. A few clowns short of a circus. A few fries short of a Happy Meal. A few cans short of a six-pack. Has an IQ of 2, but it takes 3 to grunt. All foam, no beer. As smart as bait. Not the sharpest tool in the shed. Not the sharpest knife in the drawe. A room temperature IQ. Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't anywhere in sight. If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week. Some drink from the fountain of knowledge, but he just gargled. His belt doesn't go through all the loops.
Poll: Did you like The Oddysey or The Iliad better? I liked the Iliad better. This was my favorite part: Sing, O goddess, the anger of Achilles son of Peleus, that brought countless ills upon the Achaeans. Many a brave soul did it send hurrying down to Hades, and many a hero did it yield a prey to dogs and vultures, for so were the counsels of Jove fulfilled from the day on which the son of Atreus, king of men, and great Achilles, first fell out with one another. And which of the gods was it that set them on to quarrel? It was the son of Jove and Leto; for he was angry with the king and sent a pestilence upon the host to plague the people, because the son of Atreus had dishonoured Chryses his priest. Now Chryses had come to the ships of the Achaeans to free his daughter, and had brought with him a great ransom: moreover he bore in his hand the sceptre of Apollo wreathed with a suppliant's wreath and he besought the Achaeans, but most of all the two sons of Atreus, who were their chiefs. "Sons of Atreus," he cried, "and all other Achaeans, may the gods who dwell in Olympus grant you to sack the city of Priam, and to reach your homes in safety; but free my daughter, and accept a ransom for her, in reverence to Apollo, son of Jove." On this the rest of the Achaeans with one voice were for respecting the priest and taking the ransom that he offered; but not so Agamemnon, who spoke fiercely to him and sent him roughly away. "Old man," said he, "let me not find you tarrying about our ships, nor yet coming hereafter. Your sceptre of the god and your wreath shall profit you nothing. I will not free her. She shall grow old in my house at Argos far from her own home, busying herself with her loom and visiting my couch; so go, and do not provoke me or it shall be the worse for you." The old man feared him and obeyed. Not a word he spoke, but went by the shore of the sounding sea and prayed apart to King Apollo whom lovely Leto had borne. "Hear me," he cried, "O god of the silver bow, that protectest Chryse and holy Cilla and rulest Tenedos with thy might, hear me oh thou of Sminthe. If I have ever decked your temple with garlands, or burned your thigh-bones in fat of bulls or goats, grant my prayer, and let your arrows avenge these my tears upon the Danaans." Thus did he pray, and Apollo heard his prayer. He came down furious from the summits of Olympus, with his bow and his quiver upon his shoulder, and the arrows rattled on his back with the rage that trembled within him. He sat himself down away from the ships with a face as dark as night, and his silver bow rang death as he shot his arrow in the midst of them. First he smote their mules and their hounds, but presently he aimed his shafts at the people themselves, and all day long the pyres of the dead were burning. For nine whole days he shot his arrows among the people, but upon the tenth day Achilles called them in assembly- moved thereto by Juno, who saw the Achaeans in their death-throes and had compassion upon them. Then, when they were got together, he rose and spoke among them. "Son of Atreus," said he, "I deem that we should now turn roving home if we would escape destruction, for we are being cut down by war and pestilence at once. Let us ask some priest or prophet, or some reader of dreams (for dreams, too, are of Jove) who can tell us why Phoebus Apollo is so angry, and say whether it is for some vow that we have broken, or hecatomb that we have not offered, and whether he will accept the savour of lambs and goats without blemish, so as to take away the plague from us." With these words he sat down, and Calchas son of Thestor, wisest of augurs, who knew things past present and to come, rose to speak. He it was who had guided the Achaeans with their fleet to Ilius, through the prophesyings with which Phoebus Apollo had inspired him. With all sincerity and goodwill he addressed them thus:- "Achilles, loved of heaven, you bid me tell you about the anger of King Apollo, I will therefore do so; but consider first and swear that you will stand by me heartily in word and deed, for I know that I shall offend one who rules the Argives with might, to whom all the Achaeans are in subjection. A plain man cannot stand against the anger of a king, who if he swallow his displeasure now, will yet nurse revenge till he has wreaked it. Consider, therefore, whether or no you will protect me." And Achilles answered, "Fear not, but speak as it is borne in upon you from heaven, for by Apollo, Calchas, to whom you pray, and whose oracles you reveal to us, not a Danaan at our ships shall lay his hand upon you, while I yet live to look upon the face of the earth- no, not though you name Agamemnon himself, who is by far the foremost of the Achaeans." Thereon the seer spoke boldly. "The god," he said, "is angry neither about vow nor hecatomb, but for his priest's sake, whom Agamemnon has dishonoured, in that he would not free his daughter nor take a ransom for her; therefore has he sent these evils upon us, and will yet send others. He will not deliver the Danaans from this pestilence till Agamemnon has restored the girl without fee or ransom to her father, and has sent a holy hecatomb to Chryse. Thus we may perhaps appease him." With these words he sat down, and Agamemnon rose in anger. His heart was black with rage, and his eyes flashed fire as he scowled on Calchas and said, "Seer of evil, you never yet prophesied smooth things concerning me, but have ever loved to foretell that which was evil. You have brought me neither comfort nor performance; and now you come seeing among Danaans, and saying that Apollo has plagued us because I would not take a ransom for this girl, the daughter of Chryses. I have set my heart on keeping her in my own house, for I love her better even than my own wife Clytemnestra, whose peer she is alike in form and feature, in understanding and accomplishments. Still I will give her up if I must, for I would have the people live, not die; but you must find me a prize instead, or I alone among the Argives shall be without one. This is not well; for you behold, all of you, that my prize is to go elsewhither." And Achilles answered, "Most noble son of Atreus, covetous beyond all mankind, how shall the Achaeans find you another prize? We have no common store from which to take one. Those we took from the cities have been awarded; we cannot disallow the awards that have been made already. Give this girl, therefore, to the god, and if ever Jove grants us to sack the city of Troy we will requite you three and fourfold." Then Agamemnon said, "Achilles, valiant though you be, you shall not thus outwit me. You shall not overreach and you shall not persuade me. Are you to keep your own prize, while I sit tamely under my loss and give up the girl at your bidding? Let the Achaeans find me a prize in fair exchange to my liking, or I will come and take your own, or that of Ajax or of Ulysses; and he to whomsoever I may come shall rue my coming. But of this we will take thought hereafter; for the present, let us draw a ship into the sea, and find a crew for her expressly; let us put a hecatomb on board, and let us send Chryseis also; further, let some chief man among us be in command, either Ajax, or Idomeneus, or yourself, son of Peleus, mighty warrior that you are, that we may offer sacrifice and appease the the anger of the god." Achilles scowled at him and answered, "You are steeped in insolence and lust of gain. With what heart can any of the Achaeans do your bidding, either on foray or in open fighting? I came not warring here for any ill the Trojans had done me. I have no quarrel with them. They have not raided my cattle nor my horses, nor cut down my harvests on the rich plains of Phthia; for between me and them there is a great space, both mountain and sounding sea. We have followed you, Sir Insolence! for your pleasure, not ours- to gain satisfaction from the Trojans for your shameless self and for Menelaus. You forget this, and threaten to rob me of the prize for which I have toiled, and which the sons of the Achaeans have given me. Never when the Achaeans sack any rich city of the Trojans do I receive so good a prize as you do, though it is my hands that do the better part of the fighting. When the sharing comes, your share is far the largest, and I, forsooth, must go back to my ships, take what I can get and be thankful, when my labour of fighting is done. Now, therefore, I shall go back to Phthia; it will be much better for me to return home with my ships, for I will not stay here dishonoured to gather gold and substance for you." And Agamemnon answered, "Fly if you will, I shall make you no prayers to stay you. I have others here who will do me honour, and above all Jove, the lord of counsel. There is no king here so hateful to me as you are, for you are ever quarrelsome and ill affected. What though you be brave? Was it not heaven that made you so? Go home, then, with your ships and comrades to lord it over the Myrmidons. I care neither for you nor for your anger; and thus will I do: since Phoebus Apollo is taking Chryseis from me, I shall send her with my ship and my followers, but I shall come to your tent and take your own prize Briseis, that you may learn how much stronger I am than you are, and that another may fear to set himself up as equal or comparable with me." The son of Peleus was furious, and his heart within his shaggy breast was divided whether to draw his sword, push the others aside, and kill the son of Atreus, or to restrain himself and check his anger. While he was thus in two minds, and was drawing his mighty sword from its scabbard, Minerva came down from heaven (for Juno had sent her in the love she bore to them both), and seized the son of Peleus by his yellow hair, visible to him alone, for of the others no man could see her. Achilles turned in amaze, and by the fire that flashed from her eyes at once knew that she was Minerva. "Why are you here," said he, "daughter of aegis-bearing Jove? To see the pride of Agamemnon, son of Atreus? Let me tell you- and it shall surely be- he shall pay for this insolence with his life." And Minerva said, "I come from heaven, if you will hear me, to bid you stay your anger. Juno has sent me, who cares for both of you alike. Cease, then, this brawling, and do not draw your sword; rail at him if you will, and your railing will not be vain, for I tell you- and it shall surely be- that you shall hereafter receive gifts three times as splendid by reason of this present insult. Hold, therefore, and obey." "Goddess," answered Achilles, "however angry a man may be, he must do as you two command him. This will be best, for the gods ever hear the prayers of him who has obeyed them." He stayed his hand on the silver hilt of his sword, and thrust it back into the scabbard as Minerva bade him. Then she went back to Olympus among the other gods, and to the house of aegis-bearing Jove. But the son of Peleus again began railing at the son of Atreus, for he was still in a rage. "Wine-bibber," he cried, "with the face of a dog and the heart of a hind, you never dare to go out with the host in fight, nor yet with our chosen men in ambuscade. You shun this as you do death itself. You had rather go round and rob his prizes from any man who contradicts you. You devour your people, for you are king over a feeble folk; otherwise, son of Atreus, henceforward you would insult no man. Therefore I say, and swear it with a great oath- nay, by this my sceptre which shalt sprout neither leaf nor shoot, nor bud anew from the day on which it left its parent stem upon the mountains- for the axe stripped it of leaf and bark, and now the sons of the Achaeans bear it as judges and guardians of the decrees of heaven- so surely and solemnly do I swear that hereafter they shall look fondly for Achilles and shall not find him. In the day of your distress, when your men fall dying by the murderous hand of Hector, you shall not know how to help them, and shall rend your heart with rage for the hour when you offered insult to the bravest of the Achaeans." With this the son of Peleus dashed his gold-bestudded sceptre on the ground and took his seat, while the son of Atreus was beginning fiercely from his place upon the other side. Then uprose smooth-tongued Nestor, the facile speaker of the Pylians, and the words fell from his lips sweeter than honey. Two generations of men born and bred in Pylos had passed away under his rule, and he was now reigning over the third. With all sincerity and goodwill, therefore, he addressed them thus:- "Of a truth," he said, "a great sorrow has befallen the Achaean land. Surely Priam with his sons would rejoice, and the Trojans be glad at heart if they could hear this quarrel between you two, who are so excellent in fight and counsel. I am older than either of you; therefore be guided by me. Moreover I have been the familiar friend of men even greater than you are, and they did not disregard my counsels. Never again can I behold such men as Pirithous and Dryas shepherd of his people, or as Caeneus, Exadius, godlike Polyphemus, and Theseus son of Aegeus, peer of the immortals. These were the mightiest men ever born upon this earth: mightiest were they, and when they fought the fiercest tribes of mountain savages they utterly overthrew them. I came from distant Pylos, and went about among them, for they would have me come, and I fought as it was in me to do. Not a man now living could withstand them, but they heard my words, and were persuaded by them. So be it also with yourselves, for this is the more excellent way. Therefore, Agamemnon, though you be strong, take not this girl away, for the sons of the Achaeans have already given her to Achilles; and you, Achilles, strive not further with the king, for no man who by the grace of Jove wields a sceptre has like honour with Agamemnon. You are strong, and have a goddess for your mother; but Agamemnon is stronger than you, for he has more people under him. Son of Atreus, check your anger, I implore you; end this quarrel with Achilles, who in the day of battle is a tower of strength to the Achaeans." And Agamemnon answered, "Sir, all that you have said is true, but this fellow must needs become our lord and master: he must be lord of all, king of all, and captain of all, and this shall hardly be. Granted that the gods have made him a great warrior, have they also given him the right to speak with railing?" Achilles interrupted him. "I should be a mean coward," he cried, "were I to give in to you in all things. Order other people about, not me, for I shall obey no longer. Furthermore I say- and lay my saying to your heart- I shall fight neither you nor any man about this girl, for those that take were those also that gave. But of all else that is at my ship you shall carry away nothing by force. Try, that others may see; if you do, my spear shall be reddened with your blood." When they had quarrelled thus angrily, they rose, and broke up the assembly at the ships of the Achaeans. The son of Peleus went back to his tents and ships with the son of Menoetius and his company, while Agamemnon drew a vessel into the water and chose a crew of twenty oarsmen. He escorted Chryseis on board and sent moreover a hecatomb for the god. And Ulysses went as captain. These, then, went on board and sailed their ways over the sea. But the son of Atreus bade the people purify themselves; so they purified themselves and cast their filth into the sea. Then they offered hecatombs of bulls and goats without blemish on the sea-shore, and the smoke with the savour of their sacrifice rose curling up towards heaven. Thus did they busy themselves throughout the host. But Agamemnon did not forget the threat that he had made Achilles, and called his trusty messengers and squires Talthybius and Eurybates. "Go," said he, "to the tent of Achilles, son of Peleus; take Briseis by the hand and bring her hither; if he will not give her I shall come with others and take her- which will press him harder." He charged them straightly further and dismissed them, whereon they went their way sorrowfully by the seaside, till they came to the tents and ships of the Myrmidons. They found Achilles sitting by his tent and his ships, and ill-pleased he was when he beheld them. They stood fearfully and reverently before him, and never a word did they speak, but he knew them and said, "Welcome, heralds, messengers of gods and men; draw near; my quarrel is not with you but with Agamemnon who has sent you for the girl Briseis. Therefore, Patroclus, bring her and give her to them, but let them be witnesses by the blessed gods, by mortal men, and by the fierceness of Agamemnon's anger, that if ever again there be need of me to save the people from ruin, they shall seek and they shall not find. Agamemnon is mad with rage and knows not how to look before and after that the Achaeans may fight by their ships in safety." Patroclus did as his dear comrade had bidden him. He brought Briseis from the tent and gave her over to the heralds, who took her with them to the ships of the Achaeans- and the woman was loth to go. Then Achilles went all alone by the side of the hoar sea, weeping and looking out upon the boundless waste of waters. He raised his hands in prayer to his immortal mother, "Mother," he cried, "you bore me doomed to live but for a little season; surely Jove, who thunders from Olympus, might have made that little glorious. It is not so. Agamemnon, son of Atreus, has done me dishonour, and has robbed me of my prize by force." As he spoke he wept aloud, and his mother heard him where she was sitting in the depths of the sea hard by the old man her father. Forthwith she rose as it were a grey mist out of the waves, sat down before him as he stood weeping, caressed him with her hand, and said, "My son, why are you weeping? What is it that grieves you? Keep it not from me, but tell me, that we may know it together." Achilles drew a deep sigh and said, "You know it; why tell you what you know well already? We went to Thebe the strong city of Eetion, sacked it, and brought hither the spoil. The sons of the Achaeans shared it duly among themselves, and chose lovely Chryseis as the meed of Agamemnon; but Chryses, priest of Apollo, came to the ships of the Achaeans to free his daughter, and brought with him a great ransom: moreover he bore in his hand the sceptre of Apollo, wreathed with a suppliant's wreath, and he besought the Achaeans, but most of all the two sons of Atreus who were their chiefs. "On this the rest of the Achaeans with one voice were for respecting the priest and taking the ransom that he offered; but not so Agamemnon, who spoke fiercely to him and sent him roughly away. So he went back in anger, and Apollo, who loved him dearly, heard his prayer. Then the god sent a deadly dart upon the Argives, and the people died thick on one another, for the arrows went everywhither among the wide host of the Achaeans. At last a seer in the fulness of his knowledge declared to us the oracles of Apollo, and I was myself first to say that we should appease him. Whereon the son of Atreus rose in anger, and threatened that which he has since done. The Achaeans are now taking the girl in a ship to Chryse, and sending gifts of sacrifice to the god; but the heralds have just taken from my tent the daughter of Briseus, whom the Achaeans had awarded to myself. "Help your brave son, therefore, if you are able. Go to Olympus, and if you have ever done him service in word or deed, implore the aid of Jove. Ofttimes in my father's house have I heard you glory in that you alone of the immortals saved the son of Saturn from ruin, when the others, with Juno, Neptune, and Pallas Minerva would have put him in bonds. It was you, goddess, who delivered him by calling to Olympus the hundred-handed monster whom gods call Briareus, but men Aegaeon, for he is stronger even than his father; when therefore he took his seat all-glorious beside the son of Saturn, the other gods were afraid, and did not bind him. Go, then, to him, remind him of all this, clasp his knees, and bid him give succour to the Trojans. Let the Achaeans be hemmed in at the sterns of their ships, and perish on the sea-shore, that they may reap what joy they may of their king, and that Agamemnon may rue his blindness in offering insult to the foremost of the Achaeans." Thetis wept and answered, "My son, woe is me that I should have borne or suckled you. Would indeed that you had lived your span free from all sorrow at your ships, for it is all too brief; alas, that you should be at once short of life and long of sorrow above your peers: woe, therefore, was the hour in which I bore you; nevertheless I will go to the snowy heights of Olympus, and tell this tale to Jove, if he will hear our prayer: meanwhile stay where you are with your ships, nurse your anger against the Achaeans, and hold aloof from fight. For Jove went yesterday to Oceanus, to a feast among the Ethiopians, and the other gods went with him. He will return to Olympus twelve days hence; I will then go to his mansion paved with bronze and will beseech him; nor do I doubt that I shall be able to persuade him." On this she left him, still furious at the loss of her that had been taken from him. Meanwhile Ulysses reached Chryse with the hecatomb. When they had come inside the harbour they furled the sails and laid them in the ship's hold; they slackened the forestays, lowered the mast into its place, and rowed the ship to the place where they would have her lie; there they cast out their mooring-stones and made fast the hawsers. They then got out upon the sea-shore and landed the hecatomb for Apollo; Chryseis also left the ship, and Ulysses led her to the altar to deliver her into the hands of her father. "Chryses," said he, "King Agamemnon has sent me to bring you back your child, and to offer sacrifice to Apollo on behalf of the Danaans, that we may propitiate the god, who has now brought sorrow upon the Argives." So saying he gave the girl over to her father, who received her gladly, and they ranged the holy hecatomb all orderly round the altar of the god. They washed their hands and took up the barley-meal to sprinkle over the victims, while Chryses lifted up his hands and prayed aloud on their behalf. "Hear me," he cried, "O god of the silver bow, that protectest Chryse and holy Cilla, and rulest Tenedos with thy might. Even as thou didst hear me aforetime when I prayed, and didst press hardly upon the Achaeans, so hear me yet again, and stay this fearful pestilence from the Danaans." Thus did he pray, and Apollo heard his prayer. When they had done praying and sprinkling the barley-meal, they drew back the heads of the victims and killed and flayed them. They cut out the thigh-bones, wrapped them round in two layers of fat, set some pieces of raw meat on the top of them, and then Chryses laid them on the wood fire and poured wine over them, while the young men stood near him with five-pronged spits in their hands. When the thigh-bones were burned and they had tasted the inward meats, they cut the rest up small, put the pieces upon the spits, roasted them till they were done, and drew them off: then, when they had finished their work and the feast was ready, they ate it, and every man had his full share, so that all were satisfied. As soon as they had had enough to eat and drink, pages filled the mixing-bowl with wine and water and handed it round, after giving every man his drink-offering. Thus all day long the young men worshipped the god with song, hymning him and chaunting the joyous paean, and the god took pleasure in their voices; but when the sun went down, and it came on dark, they laid themselves down to sleep by the stern cables of the ship, and when the child of morning, rosy-fingered Dawn, appeared they again set sail for the host of the Achaeans. Apollo sent them a fair wind, so they raised their mast and hoisted their white sails aloft. As the sail bellied with the wind the ship flew through the deep blue water, and the foam hissed against her bows as she sped onward. When they reached the wide-stretching host of the Achaeans, they drew the vessel ashore, high and dry upon the sands, set her strong props beneath her, and went their ways to their own tents and ships. But Achilles abode at his ships and nursed his anger. He went not to the honourable assembly, and sallied not forth to fight, but gnawed at his own heart, pining for battle and the war-cry. Now after twelve days the immortal gods came back in a body to Olympus, and Jove led the way. Thetis was not unmindful of the charge her son had laid upon her, so she rose from under the sea and went through great heaven with early morning to Olympus, where she found the mighty son of Saturn sitting all alone upon its topmost ridges. She sat herself down before him, and with her left hand seized his knees, while with her right she caught him under the chin, and besought him, saying- "Father Jove, if I ever did you service in word or deed among the immortals, hear my prayer, and do honour to my son, whose life is to be cut short so early. King Agamemnon has dishonoured him by taking his prize and keeping her. Honour him then yourself, Olympian lord of counsel, and grant victory to the Trojans, till the Achaeans give my son his due and load him with riches in requital." Jove sat for a while silent, and without a word, but Thetis still kept firm hold of his knees, and besought him a second time. "Incline your head," said she, "and promise me surely, or else deny me- for you have nothing to fear- that I may learn how greatly you disdain me." At this Jove was much troubled and answered, "I shall have trouble if you set me quarrelling with Juno, for she will provoke me with her taunting speeches; even now she is always railing at me before the other gods and accusing me of giving aid to the Trojans. Go back now, lest she should find out. I will consider the matter, and will bring it about as wish. See, I incline my head that you believe me. This is the most solemn that I can give to any god. I never recall my word, or deceive, or fail to do what I say, when I have nodded my head." As he spoke the son of Saturn bowed his dark brows, and the ambrosial locks swayed on his immortal head, till vast Olympus reeled. When the pair had thus laid their plans, they parted- Jove to his house, while the goddess quitted the splendour of Olympus, and plunged into the depths of the sea. The gods rose from their seats, before the coming of their sire. Not one of them dared to remain sitting, but all stood up as he came among them. There, then, he took his seat. But Juno, when she saw him, knew that he and the old merman's daughter, silver-footed Thetis, had been hatching mischief, so she at once began to upbraid him. "Trickster," she cried, "which of the gods have you been taking into your counsels now? You are always settling matters in secret behind my back, and have never yet told me, if you could help it, one word of your intentions." "Juno," replied the sire of gods and men, "you must not expect to be informed of all my counsels. You are my wife, but you would find it hard to understand them. When it is proper for you to hear, there is no one, god or man, who will be told sooner, but when I mean to keep a matter to myself, you must not pry nor ask questions." "Dread son of Saturn," answered Juno, "what are you talking about? I? Pry and ask questions? Never. I let you have your own way in everything. Still, I have a strong misgiving that the old merman's daughter Thetis has been talking you over, for she was with you and had hold of your knees this self-same morning. I believe, therefore, that you have been promising her to give glory to Achilles, and to kill much people at the ships of the Achaeans." "Wife," said Jove, "I can do nothing but you suspect me and find it out. You will take nothing by it, for I shall only dislike you the more, and it will go harder with you. Granted that it is as you say; I mean to have it so; sit down and hold your tongue as I bid you for if I once begin to lay my hands about you, though all heaven were on your side it would profit you nothing." On this Juno was frightened, so she curbed her stubborn will and sat down in silence. But the heavenly beings were disquieted throughout the house of Jove, till the cunning workman Vulcan began to try and pacify his mother Juno. "It will be intolerable," said he, "if you two fall to wrangling and setting heaven in an uproar about a pack of mortals. If such ill counsels are to prevail, we shall have no pleasure at our banquet. Let me then advise my mother- and she must herself know that it will be better- to make friends with my dear father Jove, lest he again scold her and disturb our feast. If the Olympian Thunderer wants to hurl us all from our seats, he can do so, for he is far the strongest, so give him fair words, and he will then soon be in a good humour with us." As he spoke, he took a double cup of nectar, and placed it in his mother's hand. "Cheer up, my dear mother," said he, "and make the best of it. I love you dearly, and should be very sorry to see you get a thrashing; however grieved I might be, I could not help for there is no standing against Jove. Once before when I was trying to help you, he caught me by the foot and flung me from the heavenly threshold. All day long from morn till eve, was I falling, till at sunset I came to ground in the island of Lemnos, and there I lay, with very little life left in me, till the Sintians came and tended me." Juno smiled at this, and as she smiled she took the cup from her son's hands. Then Vulcan drew sweet nectar from the mixing-bowl, and served it round among the gods, going from left to right; and the blessed gods laughed out a loud applause as they saw him ing bustling about the heavenly mansion. Thus through the livelong day to the going down of the sun they feasted, and every one had his full share, so that all were satisfied. Apollo struck his lyre, and the Muses lifted up their sweet voices, calling and answering one another. But when the sun's glorious light had faded, they went home to bed, each in his own abode, which lame Vulcan with his consummate skill had fashioned for them. So Jove, the Olympian Lord of Thunder, hied him to the bed in which he always slept; and when he had got on to it he went to sleep, with Juno of the golden throne by his side. Now the other gods and the armed warriors on the plain slept soundly, but Jove was wakeful, for he was thinking how to do honour to Achilles, and destroyed much people at the ships of the Achaeans. In the end he deemed it would be best to send a lying dream to King Agamemnon; so he called one to him and said to it, "Lying Dream, go to the ships of the Achaeans, into the tent of Agamemnon, and say to him word to word as I now bid you. Tell him to get the Achaeans instantly under arms, for he shall take Troy. There are no longer divided counsels among the gods; Juno has brought them to her own mind, and woe betides the Trojans." The dream went when it had heard its message, and soon reached the ships of the Achaeans. It sought Agamemnon son of Atreus and found him in his tent, wrapped in a profound slumber. It hovered over his head in the likeness of Nestor, son of Neleus, whom Agamemnon honoured above all his councillors, and said:- "You are sleeping, son of Atreus; one who has the welfare of his host and so much other care upon his shoulders should dock his sleep. Hear me at once, for I come as a messenger from Jove, who, though he be not near, yet takes thought for you and pities you. He bids you get the Achaeans instantly under arms, for you shall take Troy. There are no longer divided counsels among the gods; Juno has brought them over to her own mind, and woe betides the Trojans at the hands of Jove. Remember this, and when you wake see that it does not escape you." The dream then left him, and he thought of things that were, surely not to be accomplished. He thought that on that same day he was to take the city of Priam, but he little knew what was in the mind of Jove, who had many another hard-fought fight in store alike for Danaans and Trojans. Then presently he woke, with the divine message still ringing in his ears; so he sat upright, and put on his soft shirt so fair and new, and over this his heavy cloak. He bound his sandals on to his comely feet, and slung his silver-studded sword about his shoulders; then he took the imperishable staff of his father, and sallied forth to the ships of the Achaeans. The goddess Dawn now wended her way to vast Olympus that she might herald day to Jove and to the other immortals, and Agamemnon sent the criers round to call the people in assembly; so they called them and the people gathered thereon. But first he summoned a meeting of the elders at the ship of Nestor king of Pylos, and when they were assembled he laid a cunning counsel before them. "My friends," said he, "I have had a dream from heaven in the dead of night, and its face and figure resembled none but Nestor's. It hovered over my head and said, 'You are sleeping, son of Atreus; one who has the welfare of his host and so much other care upon his shoulders should dock his sleep. Hear me at once, for I am a messenger from Jove, who, though he be not near, yet takes thought for you and pities you. He bids you get the Achaeans instantly under arms, for you shall take Troy. There are no longer divided counsels among the gods; Juno has brought them over to her own mind, and woe betides the Trojans at the hands of Jove. Remember this.' The dream then vanished and I awoke. Let us now, therefore, arm the sons of the Achaeans. But it will be well that I should first sound them, and to this end I will tell them to fly with their ships; but do you others go about among the host and prevent their doing so." He then sat down, and Nestor the prince of Pylos with all sincerity and goodwill addressed them thus: "My friends," said he, "princes and councillors of the Argives, if any other man of the Achaeans had told us of this dream we should have declared it false, and would have had nothing to do with it. But he who has seen it is the foremost man among us; we must therefore set about getting the people under arms." With this he led the way from the assembly, and the other sceptred kings rose with him in obedience to the word of Agamemnon; but the people pressed forward to hear. They swarmed like bees that sally from some hollow cave and flit in countless throng among the spring flowers, bunched in knots and clusters; even so did the mighty multitude pour from ships and tents to the assembly, and range themselves upon the wide-watered shore, while among them ran Wildfire Rumour, messenger of Jove, urging them ever to the fore. Thus they gathered in a pell-mell of mad confusion, and the earth groaned under the tramp of men as the people sought their places. Nine heralds went crying about among them to stay their tumult and bid them listen to the kings, till at last they were got into their several places and ceased their clamour. Then King Agamemnon rose, holding his sceptre. This was the work of Vulcan, who gave it to Jove the son of Saturn. Jove gave it to Mercury, slayer of Argus, guide and guardian. King Mercury gave it to Pelops, the mighty charioteer, and Pelops to Atreus, shepherd of his people. Atreus, when he died, left it to Thyestes, rich in flocks, and Thyestes in his turn left it to be borne by Agamemnon, that he might be lord of all Argos and of the isles. Leaning, then, on his sceptre, he addressed the Argives. "My friends," he said, "heroes, servants of Mars, the hand of heaven has been laid heavily upon me. Cruel Jove gave me his solemn promise that I should sack the city of Priam before returning, but he has played me false, and is now bidding me go ingloriously back to Argos with the loss of much people. Such is the will of Jove, who has laid many a proud city in the dust, as he will yet lay others, for his power is above all. It will be a sorry tale hereafter that an Achaean host, at once so great and valiant, battled in vain against men fewer in number than themselves; but as yet the end is not in sight. Think that the Achaeans and Trojans have sworn to a solemn covenant, and that they have each been numbered- the Trojans by the roll of their householders, and we by companies of ten; think further that each of our companies desired to have a Trojan householder to pour out their wine; we are so greatly more in number that full many a company would have to go without its cup-bearer. But they have in the town allies from other places, and it is these that hinder me from being able to sack the rich city of Ilius. Nine of Jove years are gone; the timbers of our ships have rotted; their tackling is sound no longer. Our wives and little ones at home look anxiously for our coming, but the work that we came hither to do has not been done. Now, therefore, let us all do as I say: let us sail back to our own land, for we shall not take Troy." With these words he moved the hearts of the multitude, so many of them as knew not the cunning counsel of Agamemnon. They surged to and fro like the waves of the Icarian Sea, when the east and south winds break from heaven's clouds to lash them; or as when the west wind sweeps over a field of corn and the ears bow beneath the blast, even so were they swayed as they flew with loud cries towards the ships, and the dust from under their feet rose heavenward. They cheered each other on to draw the ships into the sea; they cleared the channels in front of them; they began taking away the stays from underneath them, and the welkin rang with their glad cries, so eager were they to return. Then surely the Argives would have returned after a fashion that was not fated. But Juno said to Minerva, "Alas, daughter of aegis-bearing Jove, unweariable, shall the Argives fly home to their own land over the broad sea, and leave Priam and the Trojans the glory of still keeping Helen, for whose sake so many of the Achaeans have died at Troy, far from their homes? Go about at once among the host, and speak fairly to them, man by man, that they draw not their ships into the sea." Minerva was not slack to do her bidding. Down she darted from the topmost summits of Olympus, and in a moment she was at the ships of the Achaeans. There she found Ulysses, peer of Jove in counsel, standing alone. He had not as yet laid a hand upon his ship, for he was grieved and sorry; so she went close up to him and said, "Ulysses, noble son of Laertes, are you going to fling yourselves into your ships and be off home to your own land in this way? Will you leave Priam and the Trojans the glory of still keeping Helen, for whose sake so many of the Achaeans have died at Troy, far from their homes? Go about at once among the host, and speak fairly to them, man by man, that they draw not their ships into the sea." Ulysses knew the voice as that of the goddess: he flung his cloak from him and set off to run. His servant Eurybates, a man of Ithaca, who waited on him, took charge of the cloak, whereon Ulysses went straight up to Agamemnon and received from him his ancestral, imperishable staff. With this he went about among the ships of the Achaeans. Whenever he met a king or chieftain, he stood by him and spoke him fairly. "Sir," said he, "this flight is cowardly and unworthy. Stand to your post, and bid your people also keep their places. You do not yet know the full mind of Agamemnon; he was sounding us, and ere long will visit the Achaeans with his displeasure. We were not all of us at the council to hear what he then said; see to it lest he be angry and do us a mischief; for the pride of kings is great, and the hand of Jove is with them." But when he came across any common man who was making a noise, he struck him with his staff and rebuked him, saying, "Sirrah, hold your peace, and listen to better men than yourself. You are a coward and no soldier; you are nobody either in fight or council; we cannot all be kings; it is not well that there should be many masters; one man must be supreme- one king to whom the son of scheming Saturn has given the sceptre of sovereignty over you all." Thus masterfully did he go about among the host, and the people hurried back to the council from their tents and ships with a sound as the thunder of surf when it comes crashing down upon the shore, and all the sea is in an uproar. The rest now took their seats and kept to their own several places, but Thersites still went on wagging his unbridled tongue- a man of many words, and those unseemly; a monger of sedition, a railer against all who were in authority, who cared not what he said, so that he might set the Achaeans in a laugh. He was the ugliest man of all those that came before Troy- bandy-legged, lame of one foot, with his two shoulders rounded and hunched over his chest. His head ran up to a point, but there was little hair on the top of it. Achilles and Ulysses hated him worst of all, for it was with them that he was most wont to wrangle; now, however, with a shrill squeaky voice he began heaping his abuse on Agamemnon. The Achaeans were angry and disgusted, yet none the less he kept on brawling and bawling at the son of Atreus. "Agamemnon," he cried, "what ails you now, and what more do you want? Your tents are filled with bronze and with fair women, for whenever we take a town we give you the pick of them. Would you have yet more gold, which some Trojan is to give you as a ransom for his son, when I or another Achaean has taken him prisoner? or is it some young girl to hide and lie with? It is not well that you, the ruler of the Achaeans, should bring them into such misery. Weakling cowards, women rather than men, let us sail home, and leave this fellow here at Troy to stew in his own meeds of honour, and discover whether we were of any service to him or no. Achilles is a much better man than he is, and see how he has treated him- robbing him of his prize and keeping it himself. Achilles takes it meekly and shows no fight; if he did, son of Atreus, you would never again insult him." Thus railed Thersites, but Ulysses at once went up to him and rebuked him sternly. "Check your glib tongue, Thersites," said be, "and babble not a word further. Chide not with princes when you have none to back you. There is no viler creature come before Troy with the sons of Atreus. Drop this chatter about kings, and neither revile them nor keep harping about going home. We do not yet know how things are going to be, nor whether the Achaeans are to return with good success or evil. How dare you gibe at Agamemnon because the Danaans have awarded him so many prizes? I tell you, therefore- and it shall surely be- that if I again catch you talking such nonsense, I will either forfeit my own head and be no more called father of Telemachus, or I will take you, strip you stark naked, and whip you out of the assembly till you go blubbering back to the ships." On this he beat him with his staff about the back and shoulders till he dropped and fell a-weeping. The golden sceptre raised a bloody weal on his back, so he sat down frightened and in pain, looking foolish as he wiped the tears from his eyes. The people were sorry for him, yet they laughed heartily, and one would turn to his neighbour saying, "Ulysses has done many a good thing ere now in fight and council, but he never did the Argives a better turn than when he stopped this fellow's mouth from prating further. He will give the kings no more of his insolence." Thus said the people. Then Ulysses rose, sceptre in hand, and Minerva in the likeness of a herald bade the people be still, that those who were far off might hear him and consider his council. He therefore with all sincerity and goodwill addressed them thus:- "King Agamemnon, the Achaeans are for making you a by-word among all mankind. They forget the promise they made you when they set out from Argos, that you should not return till you had sacked the town of Troy, and, like children or widowed women, they murmur and would set off homeward. True it is that they have had toil enough to be disheartened. A man chafes at having to stay away from his wife even for a single month, when he is on shipboard, at the mercy of wind and sea, but it is now nine long years that we have been kept here; I cannot, therefore, blame the Achaeans if they turn restive; still we shall be shamed if we go home empty after so long a stay- therefore, my friends, be patient yet a little longer that we may learn whether the prophesyings of Calchas were false or true. "All who have not since perished must remember as though it were yesterday or the day before, how the ships of the Achaeans were detained in Aulis when we were on our way hither to make war on Priam and the Trojans. We were ranged round about a fountain offering hecatombs to the gods upon their holy altars, and there was a fine plane-tree from beneath which there welled a stream of pure water. Then we saw a prodigy; for Jove sent a fearful serpent out of the ground, with blood-red stains upon its back, and it darted from under the altar on to the plane-tree. Now there was a brood of young sparrows, quite small, upon the topmost bough, peeping out from under the leaves, eight in all, and their mother that hatched them made nine. The serpent ate the poor cheeping things, while the old bird flew about lamenting her little ones; but the serpent threw his coils about her and caught her by the wing as she was screaming. Then, when he had eaten both the sparrow and her young, the god who had sent him made him become a sign; for the son of scheming Saturn turned him into stone, and we stood there wondering at that which had come to pass. Seeing, then, that such a fearful portent had broken in upon our hecatombs, Calchas forthwith declared to us the oracles of heaven. 'Why, Achaeans,' said he, 'are you thus speechless? Jove has sent us this sign, long in coming, and long ere it be fulfilled, though its fame shall last for ever. As the serpent ate the eight fledglings and the sparrow that hatched them, which makes nine, so shall we fight nine years at Troy, but in the tenth shall take the town.' This was what he said, and now it is all coming true. Stay here, therefore, all of you, till we take the city of Priam." On this the Argives raised a shout, till the ships rang again with the uproar. Nestor, knight of Gerene, then addressed them. "Shame on you," he cried, "to stay talking here like children, when you should fight like men. Where are our covenants now, and where the oaths that we have taken? Shall our counsels be flung into the fire, with our drink-offerings and the right hands of fellowship wherein we have put our trust? We waste our time in words, and for all our talking here shall be no further forward. Stand, therefore, son of Atreus, by your own steadfast purpose; lead the Argives on to battle, and leave this handful of men to rot, who scheme, and scheme in vain, to get back to Argos ere they have learned whether Jove be true or a liar. For the mighty son of Saturn surely promised that we should succeed, when we Argives set sail to bring death and destruction upon the Trojans. He showed us favourable signs by flashing his lightning on our right hands; therefore let none make haste to go till he has first lain with the wife of some Trojan, and avenged the toil and sorrow that he has suffered for the sake of Helen. Nevertheless, if any man is in such haste to be at home again, let him lay his hand to his ship that he may meet his doom in the sight of all. But, O king, consider and give ear to my counsel, for the word that I say may not be neglected lightly. Divide your men, Agamemnon, into their several tribes and clans, that clans and tribes may stand by and help one another. If you do this, and if the Achaeans obey you, you will find out who, both chiefs and peoples, are brave, and who are cowards; for they will vie against the other. Thus you shall also learn whether it is through the counsel of heaven or the cowardice of man that you shall fail to take the town." And Agamemnon answered, "Nestor, you have again outdone the sons of the Achaeans in counsel. Would, by Father Jove, Minerva, and Apollo, that I had among them ten more such councillors, for the city of King Priam would then soon fall beneath our hands, and we should sack it. But the son of Saturn afflicts me with bootless wranglings and strife. Achilles and I are quarrelling about this girl, in which matter I was the first to offend; if we can be of one mind again, the Trojans will not stave off destruction for a day. Now, therefore, get your morning meal, that our hosts join in fight. Whet well your spears; see well to the ordering of your shields; give good feeds to your horses, and look your chariots carefully over, that we may do battle the livelong day; for we shall have no rest, not for a moment, till night falls to part us. The bands that bear your shields shall be wet with the sweat upon your shoulders, your hands shall weary upon your spears, your horses shall steam in front of your chariots, and if I see any man shirking the fight, or trying to keep out of it at the ships, there shall be no help for him, but he shall be a prey to dogs and vultures." Thus he spoke, and the Achaeans roared applause. As when the waves run high before the blast of the south wind and break on some lofty headland, dashing against it and buffeting it without ceasing, as the storms from every quarter drive them, even so did the Achaeans rise and hurry in all directions to their ships. There they lighted their fires at their tents and got dinner, offering sacrifice every man to one or other of the gods, and praying each one of them that he might live to come out of the fight. Agamemnon, king of men, sacrificed a fat five-year-old bull to the mighty son of Saturn, and invited the princes and elders of his host. First he asked Nestor and King Idomeneus, then the two Ajaxes and the son of Tydeus, and sixthly Ulysses, peer of gods in counsel; but Menelaus came of his own accord, for he knew how busy his brother then was. They stood round the bull with the barley-meal in their hands, and Agamemnon prayed, saying, "Jove, most glorious, supreme, that dwellest in heaven, and ridest upon the storm-cloud, grant that the sun may not go down, nor the night fall, till the palace of Priam is laid low, and its gates are consumed with fire. Grant that my sword may pierce the shirt of Hector about his heart, and that full many of his comrades may bite the dust as they fall dying round him." Thus he prayed, but the son of Saturn would not fulfil his prayer. He accepted the sacrifice, yet none the less increased their toil continually. When they had done praying and sprinkling the barley-meal upon the victim, they drew back its head, killed it, and then flayed it. They cut out the thigh-bones, wrapped them round in two layers of fat, and set pieces of raw meat on the top of them. These they burned upon the split logs of firewood, but they spitted the inward meats, and held them in the flames to cook. When the thigh-bones were burned, and they had tasted the inward meats, they cut the rest up small, put the pieces upon spits, roasted them till they were done, and drew them off; then, when they had finished their work and the feast was ready, they ate it, and every man had his full share, so that all were satisfied. As soon as they had had enough to eat and drink, Nestor, knight of Gerene, began to speak. "King Agamemnon," said he, "let us not stay talking here, nor be slack in the work that heaven has put into our hands. Let the heralds summon the people to gather at their several ships; we will then go about among the host, that we may begin fighting at once." Thus did he speak, and Agamemnon heeded his words. He at once sent the criers round to call the people in assembly. So they called them, and the people gathered thereon. The chiefs about the son of Atreus chose their men and marshalled them, while Minerva went among them holding her priceless aegis that knows neither age nor death. From it there waved a hundred tassels of pure gold, all deftly woven, and each one of them worth a hundred oxen. With this she darted furiously everywhere among the hosts of the Achaeans, urging them forward, and putting courage into the heart of each, so that he might fight and do battle without ceasing. Thus war became sweeter in their eyes even than returning home in their ships. As when some great forest fire is raging upon a mountain top and its light is seen afar, even so as they marched the gleam of their armour flashed up into the firmament of heaven. They were like great flocks of geese, or cranes, or swans on the plain about the waters of Cayster, that wing their way hither and thither, glorying in the pride of flight, and crying as they settle till the fen is alive with their screaming. Even thus did their tribes pour from ships and tents on to the plain of the Scamander, and the ground rang as brass under the feet of men and horses. They stood as thick upon the flower-bespangled field as leaves that bloom in summer. As countless swarms of flies buzz around a herdsman's homestead in the time of spring when the pails are drenched with milk, even so did the Achaeans swarm on to the plain to charge the Trojans and destroy them. The chiefs disposed their men this way and that before the fight began, drafting them out as easily as goatherds draft their flocks when they have got mixed while feeding; and among them went King Agamemnon, with a head and face like Jove the lord of thunder, a waist like Mars, and a chest like that of Neptune. As some great bull that lords it over the herds upon the plain, even so did Jove make the son of Atreus stand peerless among the multitude of heroes. And now, O Muses, dwellers in the mansions of Olympus, tell me- for you are goddesses and are in all places so that you see all things, while we know nothing but by report- who were the chiefs and princes of the Danaans? As for the common soldiers, they were so that I could not name every single one of them though I had ten tongues, and though my voice failed not and my heart were of bronze within me, unless you, O Olympian Muses, daughters of aegis-bearing Jove, were to recount them to me. Nevertheless, I will tell the captains of the ships and all the fleet together. Peneleos, Leitus, Arcesilaus, Prothoenor, and Clonius were captains of the Boeotians. These were they that dwelt in Hyria and rocky Aulis, and who held Schoenus, Scolus, and the highlands of Eteonus, with Thespeia, Graia, and the fair city of Mycalessus. They also held Harma, Eilesium, and Erythrae; and they had Eleon, Hyle, and Peteon; Ocalea and the strong fortress of Medeon; Copae, Eutresis, and Thisbe the haunt of doves; Coronea, and the pastures of Haliartus; Plataea and Glisas; the fortress of Thebes the less; holy Onchestus with its famous grove of Neptune; Arne rich in vineyards; Midea, sacred Nisa, and Anthedon upon the sea. From these there came fifty ships, and in each there were a hundred and twenty young men of the Boeotians. Ascalaphus and Ialmenus, sons of Mars, led the people that dwelt in Aspledon and Orchomenus the realm of Minyas. Astyoche a noble maiden bore them in the house of Actor son of Azeus; for she had gone with Mars secretly into an upper chamber, and he had lain with her. With these there came thirty ships. The Phoceans were led by Schedius and Epistrophus, sons of mighty Iphitus the son of Naubolus. These were they that held Cyparissus, rocky Pytho, holy Crisa, Daulis, and Panopeus; they also that dwelt in Anemorea and Hyampolis, and about the waters of the river Cephissus, and Lilaea by the springs of the Cephissus; with their chieftains came forty ships, and they marshalled the forces of the Phoceans, which were stationed next to the Boeotians, on their left. Ajax, the fleet son of Oileus, commanded the Locrians. He was not so great, nor nearly so great, as Ajax the son of Telamon. He was a little man, and his breastplate was made of linen, but in use of the spear he excelled all the Hellenes and the Achaeans. These dwelt in Cynus, Opous, Calliarus, Bessa, Scarphe, fair Augeae, Tarphe, and Thronium about the river Boagrius. With him there came forty ships of the Locrians who dwell beyond Euboea. The fierce Abantes held Euboea with its cities, Chalcis, Eretria, Histiaea rich in vines, Cerinthus upon the sea, and the rock-perched town of Dium; with them were also the men of Carystus and Styra; Elephenor of the race of Mars was in command of these; he was son of Chalcodon, and chief over all the Abantes. With him they came, fleet of foot and wearing their hair long behind, brave warriors, who would ever strive to tear open the corslets of their foes with their long ashen spears. Of these there came fifty ships. And they that held the strong city of Athens, the people of great Erechtheus, who was born of the soil itself, but Jove's daughter, Minerva, fostered him, and established him at Athens in her own rich sanctuary. There, year by year, the Athenian youths worship him with sacrifices of bulls and rams. These were commanded by Menestheus, son of Peteos. No man living could equal him in the marshalling of chariots and foot soldiers. Nestor could alone rival him, for he was older. With him there came fifty ships. Ajax brought twelve ships from Salamis, and stationed them alongside those of the Athenians. The men of Argos, again, and those who held the walls of Tiryns, with Hermione, and Asine upon the gulf; Troezene, Eionae, and the vineyard lands of Epidaurus; the Achaean youths, moreover, who came from Aegina and Mases; these were led by Diomed of the loud battle-cry, and Sthenelus son of famed Capaneus. With them in command was Euryalus, son of king Mecisteus, son of Talaus; but Diomed was chief over them all. With these there came eighty ships. Those who held the strong city of Mycenae, rich Corinth and Cleonae; Orneae, Araethyrea, and Licyon, where Adrastus reigned of old; Hyperesia, high Gonoessa, and Pellene; Aegium and all the coast-land round about Helice; these sent a hundred ships under the command of King Agamemnon, son of Atreus. His force was far both finest and most numerous, and in their midst was the king himself, all glorious in his armour of gleaming bronze- foremost among the heroes, for he was the greatest king, and had most men under him. And those that dwelt in Lacedaemon, lying low among the hills, Pharis, Sparta, with Messe the haunt of doves; Bryseae, Augeae, Amyclae, and Helos upon the sea; Laas, moreover, and Oetylus; these were led by Menelaus of the loud battle-cry, brother to Agamemnon, and of them there were sixty ships, drawn up apart from the others. Among them went Menelaus himself, strong in zeal, urging his men to fight; for he longed to avenge the toil and sorrow that he had suffered for the sake of Helen. The men of Pylos and Arene, and Thryum where is the ford of the river Alpheus; strong Aipy, Cyparisseis, and Amphigenea; Pteleum, Helos, and Dorium, where the Muses met Thamyris, and stilled his minstrelsy for ever. He was returning from Oechalia, where Eurytus lived and reigned, and boasted that he would surpass even the Muses, daughters of aegis-bearing Jove, if they should sing against him; whereon they were angry, and maimed him. They robbed him of his divine power of song, and thenceforth he could strike the lyre no more. These were commanded by Nestor, knight of Gerene, and with him there came ninety ships. And those that held Arcadia, under the high mountain of Cyllene, near the tomb of Aepytus, where the people fight hand to hand; the men of Pheneus also, and Orchomenus rich in flocks; of Rhipae, Stratie, and bleak Enispe; of Tegea and fair Mantinea; of Stymphelus and Parrhasia; of these King Agapenor son of Ancaeus was commander, and they had sixty ships. Many Arcadians, good soldiers, came in each one of them, but Agamemnon found them the ships in which to cross the sea, for they were not a people that occupied their business upon the waters. The men, moreover, of Buprasium and of Elis, so much of it as is enclosed between Hyrmine, Myrsinus upon the sea-shore, the rock Olene and Alesium. These had four leaders, and each of them had ten ships, with many Epeans on board. Their captains were Amphimachus and Thalpius- the one, son of Cteatus, and the other, of Eurytus- both of the race of Actor. The two others were Diores, son of Amarynces, and Polyxenus, son of King Agasthenes, son of Augeas. And those of Dulichium with the sacred Echinean islands, who dwelt beyond the sea off Elis; these were led by Meges, peer of Mars, and the son of valiant Phyleus, dear to Jove, who quarrelled with his father, and went to settle in Dulichium. With him there came forty ships. Ulysses led the brave Cephallenians, who held Ithaca, Neritum with its forests, Crocylea, rugged Aegilips, Samos and Zacynthus, with the mainland also that was over against the islands. These were led by Ulysses, peer of Jove in counsel, and with him there came twelve ships. Thoas, son of Andraemon, commanded the Aetolians, who dwelt in Pleuron, Olenus, Pylene, Chalcis by the sea, and rocky Calydon, for the great king Oeneus had now no sons living, and was himself dead, as was also golden-haired Meleager, who had been set over the Aetolians to be their king. And with Thoas there came forty ships. The famous spearsman Idomeneus led the Cretans, who held Cnossus, and the well-walled city of Gortys; Lyctus also, Miletus and Lycastus that lies upon the chalk; the populous towns of Phaestus and Rhytium, with the other peoples that dwelt in the hundred cities of Crete. All these were led by Idomeneus, and by Meriones, peer of murderous Mars. And with these there came eighty ships. Tlepolemus, son of Hercules, a man both brave and large of stature, brought nine ships of lordly warriors from Rhodes. These dwelt in Rhodes which is divided among the three cities of Lindus, Ielysus, and Cameirus, that lies upon the chalk. These were commanded by Tlepolemus, son of Hercules by Astyochea, whom he had carried off from Ephyra, on the river Selleis, after sacking many cities of valiant warriors. When Tlepolemus grew up, he killed his father's uncle Licymnius, who had been a famous warrior in his time, but was then grown old. On this he built himself a fleet, gathered a great following, and fled beyond the sea, for he was menaced by the other sons and grandsons of Hercules. After a voyage. during which he suffered great hardship, he came to Rhodes, where the people divided into three communities, according to their tribes, and were dearly loved by Jove, the lord, of gods and men; wherefore the son of Saturn showered down great riches upon them. And Nireus brought three ships from Syme- Nireus, who was the handsomest man that came up under Ilius of all the Danaans after the son of Peleus- but he was a man of no substance, and had but a small following. And those that held Nisyrus, Crapathus, and Casus, with Cos, the city of Eurypylus,
Weird Dream? Can you please interpet this for me? thank you. I dreamt that I was in the back of a car (with the top off) and for some reason it had four seats instead of 3. so in the other 3 seats is some guy i only know by name and his 2 brothers. his parents are in the front. so we're driving along the golden gate bridge only there's nobody but us, the sun was shining, and that the water was more clear. so i'm just looking arond, admiring the view when the other 3 guys just unbuckle their seat belts and JUMP OUT of the moving car and into the water! their parents just laughed, while i just sat their in disbelief! they started swimming and swimming in the direction we were headed, and i saw a goose sort of floating around in the water (very random but i always remember that) and the next thing i knew, i was at their house. i went into the bathroom, and there were four sinks. (in real life, my sink is broken) and they were all lined up. the 3rd one was broken. i noticed my stuff arond it, and i was like, ok... that's mine! that's all i remembered...pretty strange.
Airline humour, star if you laugh? People in the airline industry aren't all serious... 1. On a Continental Flight with a very "senior" flight attendant crew, the pilot said, "Ladies and gentlemen, we've reached cruising altitude And will be turning down the cabin lights. This is for your comfort and to enhance the appearance of your flight attendants." 2. Heard on a Southwest Airline flight. "Ladies and gentlemen, if you wish to smoke, the smoking section on this airplane is on the wing and if You can light 'em, you can smoke 'em." 3. On landing, the stewardess said, "Please be sure to take all of your belongings. If you're going to leave anything, please make sure it's something we'd like to have." 4. "There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane" 5. "Thank you for flying Delta Business Express. We hope you enjoyed giving us the business as much as we enjoyed taking you for a ride." 6. As the plane landed and was coming to a stop at Ronald Reagan, alone voice came over the loudspeaker: "Whoa, big fella. WHOA!" 7. After a particularly rough landing during thunderstorms in Memphis, a flight attendant on a Northwest flight announced, "Please take care when opening the overhead compartments because, after a landing like that, sure as hell everything has shifted." 8. From a Southwest Airlines employee: "Welcome aboard Southwest flight 245 to Tampa. To operate your seat belt, insert the metal tab into the buckle, and pull tight. It works just like every other seat belt; and, if you don't know how to operate one, you probably shouldn't be out in public unsupervised." 9. "In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, masks will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small child traveling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are traveling with more than one small child, pick your favorite." 10. Weather at our destination is 50 degrees with some broken clouds, but we'll try to have them fixed before we arrive. Thank you, and remember, nobody loves you, or your money, more than Southwest Airlines." 11. "Your seat cushions can be used for flotation; and, in the event of an emergency water landing, please paddle to shore and take them with our compliments." 12. "As you exit the plane, make sure to gather all of your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight attendants. Please do not leave children or spouses." 13. And from the pilot during his welcome message: "Delta Airlines is pleased to have some of the best flight attendants in the industry. Unfortunately, none of them are on this flight!" 14. Heard on Southwest Airlines just after a very hard landing in Salt Lake City: The flight attendant came on the intercom and said, "That was Quite a bump, and I know what y'all are thinking. I'm here to tell you it wasn't the airline's fault, it wasn't the pilot's fault, it wasn't the flight attendant's fault, it was the asphalt." 15. Overheard on an American Airlines flight into Amarillo, Texas, on a particularly windy and bumpy day: During the final approach, the Captain was really having to fight it. After an extremely hard landing, the flight attendant said, "Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to Amarillo. Please remain in your seats with your seat belts fastened while the Captain taxis what's left of our airplane to the gate!" 16. Another flight attendant's comment on a less than perfect landing: "We ask you to please remain seated as Captain Kangaroo bounces us to the terminal." 17. An airline pilot wrote that on this particular flight he had hammered his ship into the runway really hard. The airline had a policy which required the first officer to stand at the door while the passengers exited, smile, and give them a "Thanks for flying our airline." He said that, in light of his bad landing, he had a hard time looking the passengers in the eye, thinking that someone would have a smart comment. Finally everyone had gotten off except for a little old lady walking with a cane. She said, "Sir, do you mind if I ask you a question?" "Why, no,Ma'am," said the pilot. "What is it?" The little old lady said, "Did we land, or Were we shot down?" 18. After a real crusher of a landing in Phoenix, the attendant came on the horn, " Ladies and Gentlemen, please remain in your seats until Capt. Crash and the Crew have brought the aircraft to a screeching halt against the gate. And, once the tire smoke has cleared and the warning bells are silenced, we'll open the door and you can pick your way through the wreckage to the terminal." 19. Part of a flight attendant's arrival announcement: "We'd like to thank you folks for flying with us today. And, the next time you get the insane urge to go blasting through the skies in a pressurized metal tube, we Hope you'll think of US Airways." 20. A plane was taking off from Kennedy Airport. After it reached a comfortable cruising altitude the Captain made an announcement over the intercom, "Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. Welcome to flight number 293, non-stop from New York to Los Angeles. The weather ahead is good and, therefore, we should have a smooth and uneventful flight. Now sit back and relax... OH, MY GOD! Silence followed, and after a few minutes, the captain came back on the intercom and said, "Ladies and Gentlemen, I am so sorry if I Scared you earlier. While I was talking to you, the flight attendant accidentally spilled a cup of hot coffee in my lap. You should see the front of my pants!" A passenger in Coach yelled, "That's nothing. You should see the back of mine!"
Women jokes? What is the difference between a battery and a woman? A battery has a positive side. How is a woman like a condom? Both spend more time in your wallet than on your dick Why are married women heavier than single women? Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge. Why do women pay more attention to their appearance than improving their minds? Because most men are stupid, but few are blind. A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. Why do they say 'Amen' at the end of a prayer instead of 'Awomen'? The same reason they sing Hymns instead of Hers! As the airliner pushed back from the gate, the flight attendant gave the passengers the usual information regarding seat belts etc. Finally, she said, "Now sit back and enjoy your trip while your captain, Judith Campbell and crew take you safely to your destination." Joe sitting in the 8th row thought to himself, "Did I hear her right - is the captain a woman? I think I better have scotch and soda." When the attendants came by with drink cart, he said, "Did I understand you right? Is the captain a woman?" "Yes," said the attendant, "In fact, this entire crew is female." "My God," said Joe, "I'd better have two scotch and sodas. I don't know what to think of all those women up there in the cockpit." "That's another thing," said the attendant, "We no longer call it the cockpit." http://jokes4all.net/jokes/women/jokes_2830.html
long but funny aircraft announcement! good or bad??? >>You've Never Heard a Flight Announcement Like This - Wouldn't you love to >>have this attendant on your next flight? >> >> >> >>Thanks to a retired West Jet Captain for sending this "paraphrase" of a >>memorable safety PA public announcement from their Flight Attendants. In >>his own words.... >> >> >> >>"I was flying to Vancouver from Toronto this weekend, and the flight >>attendant reading the flight safety information had the whole plane >>looking at each other like "what the heck?" (Getting Toronto people to >>look at each other is an accomplishment.) So once we got airborne, I took >>out my laptop and typed up what she said so I wouldn't forget. >> >>I've left out a few parts I'm sure, but this is most of it." >> >> >> >>(BEFORE TAKEOFF) Hello and welcome to West Jet Flight 438 to Vancouver. >> >> >> >>If you're going to Vancouver, you're in the right place. If you're not >>going to Vancouver, you're about to have a really long evening. We'd like >>to tell you now about some important safety features of this aircraft. The >>most important safety feature we have aboard this plane is, The Flight >>Attendants. Please look at one now. >> >> >> >>There are 5 exits aboard this plane: 2 at the front, 2 over the wings, and >>one out the plane's rear end. If you're seated in one of the exit rows, >>please do not store your bags by your feet. That would be a really bad >>idea. >> >> >> >>Please take a moment and look around and find the nearest exit. Count the >>rows of seats between you and the exit. In the event that the need arises >>to find one, trust me, you'll be glad you did. >> >> >> >>We have pretty blinking lights on the floor that will blink in the >>direction of the exits. White ones along the normal rows, and pretty red >>ones at the exit rows. >> >> >> >>In the event of a loss of cabin pressure these baggy things will drop down >>over your head. You stick it over your nose and mouth like the flight >>attendant is doing now. The bag won't inflate, but there's oxygen there, I >>promise. If you are sitting next to a small child, or someone who is >>acting like a small child, please do us all a favor and put on your mask >>first. If you are traveling with two or more children, please take a >>moment now to decide which one is your favorite. Help that one first and >>then work your way down. >> >> >> >>In the seat pocket in front of you is a pamphlet about the safety features >>of this plane. I usually use it as a fan when I'm having my own personal >>summer. It makes a very good fan. It also has pretty pictures. Please take >>it out and play with it now. Please take a moment now to make sure your >>seat belts are fastened low and tight about your hips. To fasten the belt, >>insert the metal tab into the buckle. To release, it's a pulley thing -- >>not a pushy thing like your car, because you're in an airplane -- HELLO. >> >> >> >>There is no smoking in the cabin on this flight. There is also no smoking >>in the lavatories. If we see smoke coming from the lavatories, we will >>assume you are on fire and put you out. This is a free service we provide. >>There are two smoking sections on this flight, one outside each wing exit. >>We do have a movie in the smoking sections tonight hold on, let me check >>what it is. Oh here it is ... the movie tonight is "Gone With the Wind." >> >> >> >>In a moment we will be turning off the cabin lights, and it's going to get >>really dark, really fast. If you're afraid of the dark, now would be a >>good time to reach up and press the yellow button. The yellow button turns >>on your reading light. Please don't press the orange button unless you >>absolutely have to. The orange button is your seat ejection button. >> >> >> >>We're glad to have you with us on board this flight. Thank you for >>choosing West Jet, and giving us your business and your money. If there's >>anything we can do to make you more comfortable, please don't hesitate to >>ask. If you all weren't strapped down you would have given me a standing >>ovation, wouldn't you? >> >> >> >>(AFTER LANDING) Welcome to the Vancouver International Airport. >> >> >> >>Sorry about the bumpy landing. It's not the Captain's fault. It's not the >>Copilot's fault. It's the Asphalt. Please remain seated until the plane is >>parked at the gate. At no time in history has a passenger beaten a plane >>to the gate. So please don't even try. Also, please be careful opening the >>overhead bins because "shift happens."
whats your favorite part about disneyland??? mine is right when your about to get on the ride and the gate opens and you sit down and put the seat belt on!! ahh i love it there haha
Flight crew? The times they are a changin The airliner pushed back from the gate, the flight attendant gave the passengers the usual information regarding seat belts, etc . Finally, she said, "Now sit back and enjoy your trip while your captain, Judith Campbell, and crew take you safely to your destination." Ed sitting in the eighth row thought to himself, "Did I hear her right? Is the captain a woman?" When the attendants came by with the drink cart, he said, "Did I understand you right? Is the captain a woman?" "Yes," said the attendant, "In fact, this entire crew is female." "My God," said Ed, "I'd better have two scotch and sodas. I don't know what to think with only women up there in the cockpit." "That's another thing sir," said the attendant, "We No Longer Call It The Cockpit." "It's The Box Office."
Airlines !!!!? As the airliner pushed back from the gate, the flight attendant gave the > passengers the usual information regarding seat belts, etc. > > Finally, she said, "Now sit back and enjoy your trip while your captain, > Judith Campbell, and crew take you safely to your destination." > > Joe sitting in the eighth row thought to himself, "Did I hear her right? Is > the captain a woman?" > > When the attendants came by with the drink cart, he said, "Did I understand > you right? Is the captain a woman?" > > "Yes," said the attendant, "In fact, this entire crew is female." > > "My God," said Joe, "I'd better have two scotch and sodas. I Don't know what > to think of all those women up there in the cockpit." > > "That's another thing sir," said the attendant, "We no longer Call it the > cock pit. Now it's the box office." >
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