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Do I move in to the house he lived in with his ex wife?

Ok, I need some honest answers here. My boyfriend and I had been living in seperate rental places. I was renting a townhome that me and my two sons ages, 19 & 22 were living in. And my boyfriend, who was going through a divorce was living in a apartment a couple miles down the road from me. After my boyfriends divorce was final he wanted me to move into his apartment with him. I agreed and told my sons that they could stay in the townhouse and split the rent. Well things went sour with that, my sons doesn't like my boyfriend because they say he's a control freak and vise versa so my sons moved in with their Dad until they could save up some money to buy a house of their on. (My boyfriend never had or wanted children) Well being that me and my boyfriend hated the apartment living so bad we wanted to start looking at buying a house in the local area we were living in so we would be close to work. Well unbeknowest to me all the loose ends of his divorce had not been wrapped up. He was still fighting his ex wife to recover some of the money he spent to completely remodel the house while they were together. This was a house which him and her had lived in for 17 years. Well the court had ordered the house to be sold because him and her could not come to any kind of agreement. My boyfriend didn't want to sell the house so he had the real estate agent to jack the asking price up way beyond what the house was worth. After the house didn't sell on the market the judge ordered the house to be auctioned off at a public auction. My boyfriend goes to the auction and he buys the house. The whole time I am thinking that he is going to sell the house and use the money for a down payment on another house for us........WRONG!!!!! Now he is fixing the house up so me and him can live in the house his reasoning is that the house is paid for. Which I'm not totally stupid, financially that would be the smartes thing to do. One of my problems is this: He made me sell EVERYTHING I had aquired during my last marriage (bedroom suit, living room furniture, everything) his claim was that he wanted nothing that I had shared with someone else in a house that he had anythig to do with ! ( I had already bought a new mattress).......The next problem is, his ex wife lives exactly one mile down the road from the house that him and her lived in for 17 years and she's not all too happy that me and him are together and this woman is CRAZY!!! Am I wrong for feeling uncomfortable about moving into this house with him even though the house is paid for????? I need honest answers

Public Comments

1. You aren't wrong, but you do have plenty of bigger problems. Your sons are telling you that this man is controlling and then you say he made you sell your things? You're a grown woman, you shouldn't have to do anything that you didn't want to. And for someone who was so insistent that you have nothing from your last relationship brought into this new one, he's gotta a lot of nerve hanging onto a whole house that he shared with his ex. He sounds controlling and completely uncaring about your feelings. Move away from him and the crazed ex down the road, quickly.
2. i can see where you are coming from, but you should be a bigger person than him. everyone has a past. if you were to get rid of everything that had to with each's ex-whatever, then you would have to get rid of yourself. i mean, i'm sure his "junk" was in hers and same for you... if y'all want to be together, seriously grow up.
3. the boyfriend does sound controlling. u cant have any of ur old stuff but he can?? i dont think so. i would never move into a home that he lived in for 17 years with another women. do u think there is a single spot in the entire house they didnt make love in? i dont think so. after 4 months me and my husband cresend the entire apartment.
4. Your boys are right and b/f is a control freak, but financially its a smart idea.
5. I understand not wanting to live that close to his ex but I think the other reasons are silly on both of your parts. My husband & his ex used to live together where I live now & it never bothered me. Nobody demanded possessions to be sold either. That's a little weird & petty I think.
6. no, your not wrong for not wanting to move there. but it is paid for. i'm in the same situation - my new hubby didnt want any of my furniture, deco or anyting from my previous marriage in our home (i was married 18 yrs), but its okay for me to live in the house he & his wife of 12 yrs lived in. he hasnt gotten any new furniture - bed - anything. but, the house is paid for - so i just live with it. on the other hand, i dont feel like the house is "mine". i havent decorated, i havent put in flower beds (which I love), i havent done anything to it - cause i hate it. so i know what you mean....