Belt Auction - Want to hear some clean Christmas jokes?

Want to hear some clean Christmas jokes?

These are just jokes. They are not about you or anyone you know. So do not get mad at them. If you do not like them, then go look for some you do like. Thanks Why is Christmas just like another day at the office?  You end up doing all the work and the fat guy in the suit gets all the credit. ====== How did the chickens dance at the Christmas party?  Chick to chick! ==== Christmas is just plain weird. What other time of the year do you sit in front of a dead tree in your living room eating candy and snacks out of your socks? ======= Santa's Outfit How do you know Santa has to be a man?  No woman is going to wear the same outfit year after year. ======= Christmas Mistletoe Jokes Where does the mistletoe migrate to become rich and famous? Holly-Wood! Romeo: What would it take to make you give me a kiss under the Christmas mistletoe ?  Juliette: An anesthetic ======= You are so hideously ugly, that at Christmas, we hang you up and kiss mistletoe instead. ============= Before you find your handsome prince, you've got to kiss a lot of frogs under the mistletoe. ===== Q: Mum, can I please have a cat for Christmas: Ans: No. You'll have turkey the same us the rest of us. ===== Q: What's the most popular Christmas wine?  Ans: 'I don't like Brussels sprouts!' ======= Q: Why do Canadians find turkey so popular at Christmas? Ans: Because the weather warmer there. ===== Q: Why would you invite a mushroom to a Christmas party?  Ans: He's a fun guy to be with. ====== Q: What did the Spanish fireman call his twin sons?  Ans: Hose A, and Hose B. ==== Q: Where do sheep get their hair cut?  Ans: At the baa baa shop. ===== Q: What happened when the snowman annoyed the snowwoman? Ans. She gave him the cold shoulder. ======= What kind of tree do fingers grow on?  A palm tree. === What do you call a penguin in the Sahara desert? Lost. ==== What do you call a woman who stands between two goal posts? Annette ==== On which side do chickens have most feathers?  On the outside. ===== What do you call a train loaded with toffee?  A chew chew train. ===== What's furry and minty?  A polo bear. ====== What's big, grey and wear glass slippers?  Cinderelephant. ===== How do snails keep their shells shiny?  They use snail varnish. ===== What must you know to be an auctioneer? Lots. ====== Did you hear about the man who bought a paper shop?  It blew away. =======

Public Comments

good ones :) here are some good funny stuffs too,,a funny article,... too good.. http://livelovedo.blogspot.com/2009/12/funniest-speech-at-wedding.html and you may also like these http://livelovedo.blogspot.com/2009/12/hot-chocolate.html http://livelovedo.blogspot.com/2009/12/bondage-to-comforts-miseries.html
NOTE: im sorry, but i HAVE to say this, its so funny, (look at the situation from a third person perspective) No the fuck i dont
Haha. :D I like them all.
Hi your Majesty I see you have been pulling the Christmas crackers again ha ha ha you are a star...xxx