Belt Auction

How can I get cthulhu to do my bidding?

I am going to R'lyeh to summon the great old one. How can I make him do my bidding?

Public Comments

1. Sit on his belly and act like a kitten?
2. Rub his belly.
3. You can't. I doubt you can even summon him. The fact that he's fictional isn't helping either. Do you even know where R'Lyeh is supposed to be?
4. BLASPHEMY! The great Cthulhu answers not to puny mortals. You'll collapse in a sobbing heap from terror before you even have the chance.
5. Fyi, the Necronomicon is not real. The "gods" you mention are based on fictional stories by CS Lewis. The book was authored by a book store owner on the verge of bankruptcy. The sales of the book saved his business. He promoted the urban legend of the book's authenticity to sell it. If you read the introduction, it says that they can't honor requests to see the ancient manuscripts. That's because they don't exist.